THIS ONE IS JUST FOR FUN

I was over fifty when I went back to complete the bachelor’s degree I’d started in January of 1979, at the age of twenty-two. It ultimately took me thirty-five years, gate-to-gate, to limp across the stage at the University of Texas and collect my degree in December of 2013, at the ripe old age of fifty-seven.

With honors, if you please! šŸ˜

Every one of my siblings, some of their kids and a good number of in-laws were in attendance that day, raising the roof as I gimped across the stage. Mine was the last name called.

Anyhoo, as an English major, one of my classes was on poetry, and one day we were presented with a sonnet by William Shakespeare:

We followed that up with a modern-day retelling of the sonneteer’s great love by poet Harryette Mullen, from her book Sleeping with the Dictionary (2002, University of California Press, Oakland).

Then we were pressed to create our own. Me being the biker what I are, I decided to have some fun with it. As you will see (at least, I hope you see), I relied heavily on stereotype for broad comic effect. šŸ˜

I’m pretty sure I also got an A on the assignment. 🤣

* Obligatory (but still true) Disclaimers:

First; I really have never met any of the models from Easyriders, and have no idea what kind of women they are. The characterization is used here only for effect, in keeping with the narrator’s ‘voice’, and does not reflect my own or The Shovel Shop‘s opinion of said models.

Second; and I cannot stress this enough: this is not a description of my wife, or any woman I have ever been involved with! I swear! šŸ˜†

Anyhoo, I hope y’all enjoyed this brief meander down the garden path. I’ve been busy getting Jackie and I, The Shovel Shop and MMMoMMA settled in our new quarters at San Antonio, Texas. We will resume our regularly-scheduled chaos ASAP.

‘Til then, ride free, ride safe, but most of all, ride! šŸ˜Ž

EASYRIDERS

Once upon a time, in the dark ages of the pre-internet world, there was a magazine called Easyriders.

The cover of the magazine’s very first issue. From the onset, Easyriders was determined to do things differently. What other bike rag of the day would boast of featuring the ‘World’s Ugliest Trike’?
 Image courtesy the author.

Easyriders was the brainchild of several California-based riders – Lou Kimzey, Joe Teresi and Mil Blair – who dreamt of a rag for bikers, by bikers, with none of the usual mealy-mouthed product reviews, and clean-cut models posed aboard factory-fresh machines from Europe and Japan.

In their very first issue, Easyriders‘ editors proved they were following a different path than their predecessors and competitors.
 Image courtesy of eBay seller Cruzin’ for a Deal.

No, this new mag would be for hardcore bikers, patchholders and independents who lived, breathed, slept and dreamt motorcycles: preferably big American motorcycles like Harley-Davidson and Indian. The first issue trumpeted the new title as ‘For the Swinging Biker.‘ They later identified as ‘Entertainment for the Adult Biker.

The other biker rags – even the ones that claimed to be hip to choppers – weren’t covering events like this!
In fact, those other guys were more likely to be sneering than cheering. Choppers were ‘cool’ but chopper builders? Those long-haired, greasy-bearded outlaw types? Eww! šŸ™„
San Quentin pages courtesy of the author.

Within its pages, Easyriders featured handbuilt choppers – genuine rigid-framed, long-forked machines with psychedelic paint jobs, sky-high sissybars, glistening spokes and heavily chromed engines like the ones featured in the magazine’s namesake movie. They were laid-back, long-legged beauties – dream machines – and in the ’60s and early ’70s many a young man (your humble narrator included) lusted after them. We looked for them at custom car and motorcycle shows, built plastic models of them, pressed our noses to the windows of Dad’s station wagon whenever one rumbled past and, naturally, pored over magazines about them.

Captain America by artist Ray Drea.
A unique take on the anti-heroes of Easy Rider (1969) by artist Ray Drea.
A life-size Billy Bike, seen at the 20th Annual David Mann Memorial Chopperfest in February, 2024.
 Image courtesy of the author.
Now that’s a chopper! Also spotted at the David Mann Chopperfest.
 Image courtesy of the author.

Choppers may have been works of art, but for most builders they were much, much more. Those workhorse v-twin engines – the ones that carried police officers through city traffic, and gave Mom and Pop a breath of fresh air and outdoor life at the end of a workaday week – were broken down and rebuilt, and in the process they were blown, stroked, bored and balanced to achieve ultimate performance in flat-out style. We’re talking balls-to-the-wall, explosive power.

Editor Lou Kimzey’s knucklehead chopper appeared on the back cover of the magazine’s first issue.
 Image courtesy of eBay seller Cruzin’ for a Deal.

The bikes may have been built for cruising the highway with a chick on the p-pad and a fart sack strapped to the forks, but the engines were built for red-light racing and the quarter-mile, popping wheelies and other displays of brute acceleration. These weren’t upstart Jap scrap that whined like angry hornets, or prim European motorbikes with finely tuned suspensions and muted, throaty exhaust notes. You weren’t going to see choppers competing in Timed Trials challenges, or road-racing on the Isle of Man. They were, with few exceptions, big, loud, powerful, gas-guzzling, straight-line-balling, quintessentially American machines.

One of my favorite builds ever to appear in the magazine’s pages. The bike also appeared on an Easyriders calendar and in an anniversary issue. With its monochromatic color scheme and futuristic design, it stood out from the psychedelic dream machines most builders were crafting. So far as I know, the builder has never been identified.
The bike itself is far cleaner than anything I’d feel comfortable owning, but the detail is mind-boggling. This bike also gave me a low-level craving, as yet unfulfilled, to build a chopper on a single-loop frame.
The Mystery Sled also gave me a new appreciation for Morris Mags – beautiful wheels! – and the process of cleaning engine parts known as ‘bead blasting’. When I first went to work at Bud’s Motorcycle Shop in Austin, in 1979, I spent many an hour with my hands up to my shoulders in the glass-beading machine. I still love the soft grey finish the process leaves behind on aluminum and alloy parts.
 Mystery Sled images courtesy of the author.

Easyriders was the first biker lifestyle magazine to make it beyond a handful of issues, and reach a national (and later international) readership. Others, like Colors, produced by East Coast biker Phil Castle, and the California-based Choppers, created by signman-turned-customizer Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth, were short-lived and regional. You weren’t going to find issues of those magazines on the rack at your local 7-11 store, and by 1971 both had gone out of print.

Choppers experienced a comeback of sorts in 2018, when fan Cary Brobeck secured rights to the title from Ed Roth’s heirs. The new Choppers hit newsstands in April of 2019, and is still in production as of this writing, January 2025.
 Image sourced from the internet.

Easyriders, on the other hand, endured, in part because it was so much more than just shiny paint and polished chrome plating. The magazine swiftly became the big dog on the block, its readership dwarfing titles like Big Bike, Custom Bike, Street Chopper and Supercycle, because Easyriders went farther than any of those titles dared. The rag truly wasentertainment for the adult biker’.

A typical Easyriders cover in the early days: a gal you could believe knew her way around a pillion pad, maybe a tattooed biker and his motorcycle, and a few tantalizing teasers for what’s inside.
 
Image courtesy of eBay seller pqu698.

For starters, Easyriders had bare-breasted models draped over choppers or curled up against the bikes’ owners: real biker women – often the bike owner’s ol’ lady – with tattoos, pimples and other ‘flaws’, showing more skin than other bike rags would dare.

A typical photograph from the magazine’s early days.
 
Image sourced from internet.

They also began a feature (copied from Big Bike, a title editor Lou Kimzey created and edited prior to joining forces with Joe Teresi and Mil Blair) called the Ol’ Lady Contest, in which women (or their proud significant others) could submit photographs for the chance to win cash and prizes, and be named ‘Ol’ Lady of the Year’.

A ‘Ol’ Lady Contest’ in the magazine’s February 1983 issue.
 
Image courtesy of author.

Later, in a barely-perceptible nod to gender equity, they began including small (usually one- or two-page) spreads on bikes owned and built by women, titled Foxy Riders.

A ‘Foxy Rider’ gets her motorcycle featured in the magazine in June 1988.
 
Image courtesy of author.
Spider’s column fronted the magazine for decades, sharing humorous stories and factoids like those shown above. Note that political correctness was not a concern. At times, misogyny and subtle racism permeated the magazine’s editorial content. Homophobia and transphobia were constants.
 Image courtesy of author.

There was also Spider’s Leg-Wetting Facts column (later renamed Taking It Easy, as shown above) that featured humorous factoids and anecdotes culled from the mainstream press and other bike rags. Farther back in the magazine were pages of jokes, too, usually submitted by readers.

Miraculous Mutha as envisioned by Easyriders cartoonist Hal Robinson, and identified on the magazine’s masthead as ‘Resident Nympho’. Some of the other job titles are just as outrageous!
 Images sourced from internet.

Miraculous Mutha, depicted above, purported to be an overweight, disease-riddled ‘mama’, doling out advice to the lovelorn and wayward in Miraculous Mutha Tells All, below. Her responses to readers’ letters were frequently lewd, lascivious, and more than a little perverse. Readers loved her!

If you’re not offended or repelled, you’re not paying attention!
Image courtesy of author.

On a more serious note….

A Tribute to Brothers Lost and Male Call were just two of the ways the magazine attempted to foster community in the biker world.
Image courtesy of author.

In the magazine’s back pages, one feature allowed bikers to offer up A Tribute to Brothers Lost, while a separate feature titled Male Call helped incarcerated bikers hook up with pen-pals and potential post-release lovers. Another page of classifieds called Choppershopper let bikers reconnect with brothers, announce events, clear potential club names for conflicts, and trade and sell motorcycle parts.

Choppershopper from Easyriders # 118, February 1983.
Image courtesy of author.
Asstrology, word games and other amusements made random appearances.
 
Image courtesy of author.

An Asstrology column made random appearances, along with word games, crossword puzzles and the like. Easyriders also ran an occasional Downtime column with reviews of new music, books and movies of interest to bikers. Finally, there were letters to the editors: some poignant, some profane, some laugh-out-loud funny. The editors’ often-acerbic replies were often even funnier.

Letters to the editors were handled by Wordmonger, who must have had some fun sorting through the piles of mail the magazine received.
Image courtesy of the author.
Tech tips might include a write-up on Harley-Davidson’s recently released five-speed transmission, and increased visibility for traffic safety. Others might include recipes for marijuana meals. Easyriders also featured updates on political issues of interest to bikers, like what the eggheads at the U.S. Department of Transportation might be up to.
 Image courtesy of eBay seller pqu698.

Easyriders also featured tech tips. Some were useful articles about motorcycles: how to decide what rake you needed for your chopper, or tune a Mikuni carburetor, or how to decipher Harley-Davidson’s Byzantine numbering system, so aspirant chopper builders could determine what year and model engine they were looking at when shopping for the Big Twin or Sportster engine of their dreams. Experienced bikers knew that a dodgy set of numbers could result in confiscation of the rider’s motorcycle by police. Rest assured, if the cops took your bike, you lost everything connected to it, even if you had receipts for every nut and bolt!

David Duke, the man who was going to mainstream racism with his ‘new and improved’ KKK, went on to win a seat in the Louisiana House of Representatives and make several runs for higher office, including Governor of Louisiana and President of the United States. After several unsuccessful campaigns, he dropped all pretense of civility and came out as a neo-Nazi. He also pleaded guilty to fraud charges in 2002, which netted him a fifteen-month sentence in a federal prison. He is reportedly still spewing his bile. Unfortunately, Easyriders recognized and exploited the fact that a large percentage of hardcore bikers adhere to racist and fascist ideologies.  
 
Image courtesy of eBay seller pqu698.

There were also handy ‘tech tips’ on how to conceal weapons, drugs and other contraband, grow marijuana and make prison tattoo machines, alongside interviews with controversial characters like Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke. These articles – and adverts for White Power t-shirts, swastika belt buckles and devices for smoking leafy products šŸ˜ whilst riding your machine – were gradually phased out when prison and military censors began banning the magazine. Because so many bikers were in prison or serving in the military, the publishers of Easyriders went to great lengths to be sure the magazine was available to all, even offering free subscriptions to prison libraries.

A typical cover from January, 1982. Note the featured articles include a ‘how to’ on making contraband prison tattoo machines.
 Image courtesy of eBay seller pqu698.

In a regular feature titled Easynews, the magazine also included political news relevant to bikers: the progress of helmet laws and other anti-biker legislation, R.I.C.O. 1 prosecutions of Hells Angels members and other outrages. When ‘safetycrats’ in Washington used federal highway funds to blackmail states into enacting mandatory helmet laws, Easyriders and A.B.A.T.E. 2, the homegrown Motorcycle Rights Organization (MRO) the editors created, led the fight against the mandates.

Easynews was a regular feature.
Image courtesy of author.

Through the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s there was a push-and-pull contest between pro- and anti-helmet law factions, which resulted in a patchwork quilt of requirements across the nation. One state might mandate helmets for all riders, while another only required them for riders under the age of twenty-one, or eighteen, or on machines over a certain engine size. To obfuscate the issue even more, in later years a wave of bills across the nation permitted riders to doff their helmets if they carried a certain amount of health insurance, which would cover them in the event of a motorcycle crash. Enforcement was unsustainable, and those states effectively became free choice states again.

In the late ’90s, with passage of an insurance exemption bill as described above, Texas offered a Helmet Exemption sticker for those riders who carried proof of the requisite health insurance. It was optional, cost about $5 if I recall, and did not guarantee LEOs wouldn’t stop you for riding sans helmet anyway. The sticker program was eliminated in 2009.

But helmet laws weren’t the only issues facing riders. Some states attacked the ‘chopper lifestyle’ by mandating seat and handlebar heights, chain guards and front fenders, full-length rear fenders, turn signals, restrictive mufflers and more.

A motorcycle like my shovelhead could earn me a ‘seat too low’ ticket in certain jurisdictions, because I ran a frame-mounted butt bucket saddle on that low-slung OEM rigid wishbone frame. I never ran the sky-high apehangers some riders opted for, but my ‘baby apes’ were probably tall enough to get me ticketed in some states, and I have twice been ticketed for ‘exhaust too loud’. On both occasions I had brand new mufflers recently installed on my bike.

The low-slung frame-mounted butt-bucket saddle that would have earned me a ticket in places like Florida, and the brand-new exhaust system that garnered me an ‘exhaust too loud’ ticket in Bell County, Texas. The state trooper who wrote me up (after slowing down and forcing me to pass him) rubbed salt in the wound by claiming his dirt bike was quieter than my muffled Harley. I’d bet dollars to donuts that was a bald-faced lie!
 Photograph courtesy of the author.

Elsewhere, motorcyclists were being profiled by law enforcement officers – stopped and treated like armed-and-dangerous felons solely for being bikers – and businesses were discriminating against riders, with ‘no motorcycle attire’, ‘no club colors’ and ‘no motorcycle parking in lot’ signs popping up at bars, restaurants and other premises.

I recall a run from Austin to Lake Buchanan, in a pack of thirty or so bikes. We stopped at a roadhouse in rural Burnet County for lunch. As we were leaving, we found ourselves surrounded by law enforcement of all stripes – local police, county sheriff’s deputies and state troopers – with weapons drawn as they confronted us. We were put through the mill. License, registration and vehicle identification numbers were slowly and laboriously checked via radio, one at a time, to drag the process out. Bikes were searched and riders questioned as we sweltered in the blistering sun for over an hour – and the sum total of their efforts was one (1) arrest for an outstanding traffic warrant!

My shovel and I outside the Burnet County roadhouse where we were held at gunpoint by LEOs from every available agency. There were local yokels, county mounties, smokies… all armed with shotguns, hunting rifles and AR-15s. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to learn the local dog catcher and building inspector were out there, getting in on the action!
 Photograph courtesy of the author.
NO COLORS ALLOWED…. but those young men seem to disagree with the sentiment. Hmm…. šŸ˜ This photo appeared in Easyriders # 79, January 1980. Note the poem by Jody Via at right, and then see my footnote on him at the end of this post.
Image courtesy of eBay seller Vintage Variety 60.

In another instance, I was attending a bachelor’s party for a friend. Despite the fact that we were all sober riders, he wanted his party to include a tour of the topless bars around Waco, Texas.

The evening began with an excursion to a dive outside the city limits, with fully nude dancers. The first thing I saw, as we entered the bar, was a drunk crashing to the floor after leaning his chair back too far, and the naked teenager on stage raising her hands in fright, screaming ‘I never touched him!’

Later in the evening, we arrived at a ‘swanky gentlemen’s club’ in the city proper, and sure as hell, there was a sign saying ‘No Motorcycles in Parking Lot.’ The groom-to-be and most of our party were content to park in the lot next door, go in and carry on the festivities. Me, I do my best to avoid spending my money or time in places where I’m not wanted, so I stayed outside and rapped with the bouncers, most of whom were riders themselves!

And, for the record, there are damned few ‘gentlemen’ in those so-called ‘gentlemen’s clubs.’

David Mann’s painting titled ‘Gentlemen’s Club’ appeared in the magazine’s June 1995 issue.
Image courtesy of the author.
Larry (Rabbit) Cole was one of my favorite writers in the magazine’s best years. I have no idea what his personal history may have been, or what became of him once he stopped writing for Easyriders.

For me, one of the biggest differences between Easyriders and other magazines was that ER published short fiction about the biker lifestyle, by writers like Larry ‘Rabbit’ Cole (above) and Jody Via 3, and humor by psychotics like former Mouseketeer J.J. Solari.

One of the erstwhile Mouseketeer’s twisted ‘masterpieces’. I will post one of his longer pieces in a separate post.
Image courtesy of the author.

Some of the writing was mediocre, but most was outstanding. There was real talent on display in those pages: well-crafted stories with vivid characters and dramatic arcs worth following. Easyriders was a huge influence on me as a teenage wannabe in the early ’70s, and was still the biker rag of record when I began riding later in the decade. I take great pride in the fact that my first manuscript sales — fiction and non-fiction — were to Easyriders, and I consider Lou Kimzey my first editor and mentor in the world of writing.

This artwork (by an as-yet-unnamed artist) accompanied my short story ‘Bloodlines’, which appeared in the June 1988 issue of the magazine. More about that and other short stories in a later post.
Image courtesy of the author.

Easyriders also ran the occasional poem, usually an ode to brotherhood or a motorcycle or, less frequently, the good woman who made it all worthwhile.

A love poem by Dan Pierce from a volume of the spin-off In the Wind magazine.
 Image sourced from internet. Photo-illustration by author.
An un-love poem by Sharon Wallace in Easyriders # 185’s In the Wind section, November 1988.
Image courtesy of the author.

Notably, the magazine’s editors broke with traditional publishing practice by accepting handwritten manuscripts – unheard of in that era – because most prison inmates did not have ready access to typewriters.

Duffy Duggan’s work appeared often in the magazine’s pages, illustrating short stories and articles. Here, a hapless biker serves time in prison, a common theme for hardcore bikers.
 Image sourced from internet.

In another groundbreaking move, Easyriders made a practice of publishing motorcycle-themed illustrations and paintings by talented artists like Duffy Duggan, above, and cartoonist Hal Robinson, below.

Artist Hal Robinson could do ‘funny’ easily, but occasionally took a turn at more contemplative works like the one above, at right.
 Images sourced from internet.

Most noteworthy of these was the godfather of chopper art, David Mann, who first broke out with a series of posters painted for Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth of Choppers Magazine fame. Mann created his first masterpiece centerfold painting for Easyriders‘ third issue in October, 1971. The artist – the Frederic Remington of the biker world – painted large centerfold paintings for the monthly magazine, and story illustrations, even as he cranked out book covers, centerfolds and illustrations for other publications. Despite that workload, the artist produced at least one piece for every issue of Easyriders from October, 1971 until his retirement in June, 2004. David Mann passed away in September of that year, but his paintings continued to appear in Easyriders and her sister publications for years afterward.

You can learn about David Mann and see much more of his artwork here.

David Mann’s first and last paintings for Easyriders Magazine, in the October 1971 and June 2004 issues.
 Images courtesy of David Mann‘s Facebook page.

IN THE WIND

From Easyriders # 118, February 1983, the come-on to readers, to submit their photos for consideration. I can scarcely imagine the volume they received!
Image courtesy of the author.

One of Easyriders‘ more ingenious innovations was their In the Wind pages, where they offered readers cash (above) for ‘good, in-focus’ photographs of bikers at play, riding, partying, brawling or posing with their machines, and women, usually flashing their breasts for the camera.

This appeared in In the Wind #11 in 1983.
 Image courtesy of eBay seller Touched by Time Treasures.

There were often older photographs, resurrected from Grandpa’s old picture album: proud farmers and sales clerks, and their bemused sisters or girlfriends, posing with Popes, Thors and Excelsiors. There were Allied soldiers aboard strap-back Harley J-Models and WLAs, Triumphs and BSAs, and their German counterparts on BMWs and NSUs. Other pages might teem with photos submitted by readers in Europe, Asia, South America and Africa, each with their own biker subculture.

Pages of typical ‘In the Wind’ photographs from the August 1988 issue.
Image courtesy of the author.

And, of course, there were hundreds and hundreds of pics of bikers, male and female, outlaw and straight, on original or restored classics or wild-as-fuck radical customs. They were jamming down the road, hair floating in the breeze and tight grins on their faces, or scowling at the camera and flipping the universal biker salute – one raised finger – to friend and foe alike. They were drinking beer, wrestling in the mud of a campsite, or tearing a motorcycle apart beneath a tree as friends gathered to offer assistance….

Pages of typical ‘In the Wind’ photographs from the June 1988 issue.
Image courtesy of the author.

….and women, in denim and leather or not much of anything, baring their all at a rally, packing behind their ol’ man or geared up and gripping the bars of their own machines. All ages, all shapes and sizes, but most pretty and slender and lithe enough to curl up behind a man as they blast down the highway together, her feet on the high pegs of that rigid frame and her arms around her man.

What it’s all about, really, in Easyriders, June 1988.
Image courtesy of the author.

I called In the Wind ‘ingenious’ because, while the editors paid for photos they published in the magazine itself, they reserved the right to use any and all submitted photographs free of charge in a spin-off magazine called In the Wind. It featured page after page of readers’ photographs, very little editorial content, and ran through well over a hundred and fifty issues. Aside from layout and pasteup, it couldn’t have cost much to produce, and every issue sold by the tens of thousands.

These appeared in Easyriders # 118 in February 1983 ‘In the Wind’ pages.
Image courtesy of the author.

I submitted a number of photos to the magazine’s for-pay column, but only ever saw them in later issues of In the Wind.

One of my many submissions to the magazine’s ‘In the Wind’ pages: a shot from one of the ABATE Texas annual members’ rallies. Several showed up in the spin-off publication, but none made the paid-for pages in the magazine itself. 😔
 Image courtesy of the author.

EXPANSION

Iron Horse featured bikers and babes just as down-to-earth as Easyriders, but with a more inclusive flair.
 Image courtesy of eBay sellers Gallimore’s Goods.

Realizing that they had a good thing going, Easyriders‘ parent corporation, Paisano Publications, soon sought to expand the brand into a world-wide empire. First came the In the Wind magazines. These were followed by Iron Horse, a magazine more dedicated to metric riders. Still the same hard-partying, hard-riding biker ethos, but with more Triumphs and Hondas than Harleys and Indians.

Paisano Publications‘ burgeoning publishing empire featured created titles like In the Wind, American Rodder and Iron Horse, and acquired titles like Tattoo and Biker.
Image courtesy of the author.

Later, we saw titles like Tattoo, which cashed in on (and helped fuel) the passion for skin art sweeping the nation in the ’90s and ’00s. Another spin-off magazine was V-Twin, intended as a ‘family friendly’ version of Easyriders. No topless women, fewer four-letter words…. šŸ™„ Worse still was VQ, a magazine ‘for the connoisseur.’ 🤢

Image courtesy of eBay sellers Gallimore’s Goods.
Adverts for a number of Paisano Publications titles, including Easyriders, Biker, In the Wind, the aforementioned VQ, Tattoo and Quick Throttle. On the opposite page, a pitch for Easyriders store franchises. For reference, the $500K investment listed would be the equivalent of about $1 million today.
Image courtesy of the author.

Other cash cows turned up. There were Easyriders products like t-shirts, hats and scarves, which grew into a full-sized catalog insert in the magazine every Christmas season. Then came brick-and-mortar Easyriders stores – franchised outlets as advertised above – that sold clothing and custom parts. Some even tried to be full-service motorcycle shops, with bikes for sale and mechanics on duty.

An Easyriders Store as envisioned by artist David Mann.
 Image courtesy of the author.

Then there were the Easyriders Rodeos and other events: a series of prepackaged biker parties – mini-rallies, really – at venues around the country. These events were heavily sponsored by corporations like Custom Chrome, Chrome Specialties, Barnett and others, all purveyors of parts and equipment for Harley riders. At the rodeos, there were diversions like burnout contests, barstool races, poker runs, girly shows and live music, wedged in between the ceaseless marketing of products by Easyriders and its sponsors.

Artist David Mann did numerous adverts for the rodeo series.
  Image courtesy of the author.
Just a few of the diversions to be seen at the rodeos.
 Photos courtesy of Easyriders Events.
Those of us who were fans and collectors of David Mann‘s art were pissed that some of his monthly centerfold paintings were nothing more than advertisements for Easyriders events like the rodeo….
….or an Easyriders Invitational Bike Show. We didn’t appreciate seeing our favorite artist pimped out this way.
  Centerfold images courtesy of the author.
Adverts for upcoming Easyriders Rodeo events in Easyriders (June 1988) and Biker Parties (Summer 1998). I’ve done some event production and coordinating, and that slate at right looks like a damned grueling schedule.
Image courtesy of the author.

DEATH OF THE DREAM

Some say it was overreaching that killed Easyriders, but I have a different theory.

For decades, Easyriders remained the ‘biker rag of record’, in part because it was as ‘biker’ as any of its readers: tough, take-no-bullshit and ready to rock. However, that brutal bastard, time, and the harsh realities of print publishing eventually took their toll.

The first advert for Harley-Davidson appeared in the magazine’s April 1978 issue
Image courtesy of the author.

For instance: at its onset, the magazine’s editors swore they would never be beholden to any corporate master, and hence would never accept advertising from the Harley-Davidson Motor Company or its dealers. They held out for seven years, but ultimately the money was too good.

However, three issues later, the MoCo had a change of heart. They yanked their full-page advert at the last moment. Easyriders‘ editors responded with the black box page above.
Image courtesy of the author.

They also vowed they would never do new bike reviews or test rides. They eventually did….

 However, a few years later, both sides had become more ‘accommodating’, and HD adverts were a regular feature. In fact, as seen here in the November 1988 issue, they were actually cozying up to Spider’s politically incorrect Taking It Easy column!
 Image courtesy of the author.

Very few magazines can survive on subscriptions alone. The money had to come from somewhere. I’m sure the magazine’s publisher shrugged and said ‘Well, why not the MoCo?’ šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

This appeared in the Easyriders issue of June 1988. Not only was it an advert for the Harley-Davidson Motor Company, but the ad features a fully dressed ‘bagger’ and rows of neatly uniformed club members, looking like motorcycle patrol officers! 😮 That’s a loooooong way from the chopper esthetic and hardcore biker ‘tude the magazine touted in early years.
Image courtesy of the author.

The Motor Company has offered riding gear from its earliest days, but when AMF (American Machine & Foundry, best known as the primary outfitter for bowling alleys) merged with Harley-Davidson in 1969, more effort was made to market ‘stylish’ clothing. Imagine leisure suits of sky-blue suede (seriously!) and his-and-hers t-shirts and jackets. When the two companies split again in 1981, marketing began in earnest, and Motorclothes was born. Old-school riders grouse that Harley dealerships look more like fashion boutiques nowadays. A common plaint is They used to hate us. Now they want to BE us!

They’re not wrong.

During the AMF years, Harley-Davidson struggled to counter the outlaw persona many street bikers affected: the long hair, beards and tattoos, black t-shirts, ragged jeans and greasy leather. Dealers refused to serve ‘chopper riders’ or work on modified motorcycles, and corporate headquarters demanded that dealers spruce up their premises and run off the undesirable Easyriders element. Austin’s own Austin Motorcycle Company, a family-owned franchise since the 1920s, surrendered its franchise in the late ’70s rather than comply with the Motor Company’s demands.

Austin Motorcycle Company, Austin’s premiere Harley-Davidson dealership, fell victim to corporate paternalism when owner Dan James (no relation, sadly) refused to upgrade his dusty old shop in the heart of downtown, or run off the ‘disreputable element’ that formed his customer base. Killeen auto dealer Ace Connell picked up the franchise Dan dropped, and a new, more-palatable dealership was opened on the city’s north side. Austin Motorcycle Company puttered along as an independent shop until Dan passed away in 1980. Two of his employees attempted to keep the shop going after Dan died, but soon moved on to other pursuits, and the shop faded into history.
 Image sourced from internet.
An advert for Harley-Davidson’s own clothing line, appropriately titled Motorclothes.
Image courtesy of eBay seller Vintage Variety 60.

However, the MoCo’s new owners – most former executives of the AMF-owned division – recognized a cash cow when they saw one, and Motorclothes stores and catalogs were soon teeming with fashions aping the look of those hardcore bikers HD once shunned. Witness their willingness to have their advert placed right beside Spider’s crude, frequently misogynistic column.

A Harley-Davidson advertisement for their ‘Harley Owner’s Group’ – a ‘motorcycle club’ with no membership requirements other than a wallet fat enough to afford a Harley-Davidson motorcycle – in the July 1983 issue. If you recall, the magazine started out catering to members of actual motorcycle clubs. They may as well have been peddling Sons of Anarchy fanwear!
 Image courtesy of eBay seller M&M Media and More.

….but it was the publishers’ abandonment of the outlaw ethos upon which the magazine was founded (see Harley Owner’s Group advert, above, for example) that hurt the magazine the most. Gone were the grungy patchholders and those generous four-page features on the radical chopper some hardworking Harley lover crafted in a drafty garage with nothing but sheet metal, a crackerbox welder, swapmeet parts and bleeding knuckles.

That ain’t no chopper, baby! Worse still, look at the spec sheet below. The owner hired out every aspect of the work on the thing. šŸ™„ This appeared in Easyriders # 181, in July 1988.
Images courtesy of the author.

In their place were Harley owners posing with made-to-order machines (see above) that they’d purchased in a shop and paid someone else to customize: ‘RUBs’ and ‘Rolex Riders’ who wouldn’t be caught dead mingling with the street bikers who made the magazine what it was. Builders like Arlen Ness and Rick Doss and pseudo-clubs like the Hamsters were given loads of press, with photos and glowing articles. Meanwhile, old school builders’ efforts were relegated to a tiny spread titled ‘Readers’ Rides’. No one seemed to remember or care that, back in the day, featured bikes were all ‘Readers Rides’! šŸ™„

A ‘Reader’s Ride’ from Easyriders, July 1988
Image courtesy of the author.

Gone, too, were the women we loved: those hardcore biker gals and dewy-eyed fender bunnies who brightened the pages of every issue. They were replaced by polished, airbrushed professional models who had obviously never been near a motorcycle until the photographer hired them for a shoot. These were women wearing too much makeup, ridiculous high heels that had no place in the rough-and-tumble biker’s world, and…. and…. they just weren’t our people. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

Compare this cover, from 2004, to the covers of earlier issues, circa 1970s and ’80s. A little ‘different’, yes?
 Image courtesy of eBay sellers Gallimore’s Goods.

Easyriders went under in 2019, after almost a half-century in print. As noted above, its quality and integrity had waned considerably in its final decades, even as print publications in general were hemorrhaging readership, so few longtime adherents mourn its passing. However, an upscale clothier has acquired and is attempting to revive the title as a ‘less trashy’ and ‘more inclusive’ publication. Some wag described it as ‘GQ for Bikers,’ but I think Easyriders beat them to the punch with VQ. šŸ™„

I’ve only seen two issues of the ‘new’ Easyriders and am thus far not impressed. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

Original since 1970? 😮 I don’t think so! That’s like Indian claiming they are ‘the oldest American motorcycle manufacturer’. The revivalists — Indian and Easyriders alike — bought a name and nothing more. No lineage connects either venture to the originals, and it annoys me to no end when they cavalierly claim lineage and longevity they have not earned.
 Image sourced from internet.

FOOTNOTES

1) R.I.C.O. (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act of 1970) was written for use against organized crime outfits like the Mafia, but prosecutors quickly realized it had implications far beyond that narrow aim.

For instance, federal prosecutors used R.I.C.O. to go after board members deemed responsible for the Savings and Loans crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s. One unique feature of R.I.C.O. was that it permitted civil as well as criminal prosecutions. Civil trials require a less stringent burden of proof than criminal trials and, with R.I.C.O., prosecutors could seek triple the estimated damages of any violation. Hapless board members of S&Ls found themselves in court, targeted not because they were guilty but because they had the deepest pockets.

R.I.C.O. was also used to prosecute Hells Angel spokesman Sonny Barger and other members of the Oakland HAMC chapter. However, the fed’s case collapsed when they were unable to prove a ‘pattern of behavior’, or link the alleged illegalities to club policy. Barger, et alia, walked free, leaving prosecutors red-faced, frustrated and bitter.

Sonny Barger around the time of the R.I.C.O. prosecution. He dodged the R.I.C.O. case, but did time for other offenses. He emerged from prison even more a celebrity than when he went in, and turned to cashing in on his notoriety with books, a movie, and public appearances around the world.
 Photo courtesy of the author, from Supercycle Magazine‘s interview with Barger.

2) A.B.A.T.E. was alternately styled ‘American Bikers Against Totalitarian Enactments’ or ‘American Bikers Aiming Toward Education’. Both monikers applied. The group did fight against mandatory helmet laws, and laws restricting the customization of motorcycles, as numerous states enacted laws regulating seat and handlebar heights, requiring chain guards and front fenders, even mandating the length of rear fenders and the height of sissybars.

However, the group also fought for motorcycle rider education, to train new riders in street survival skills, and driver awareness campaigns to make motorists more aware of (and, it was to be hoped, more respectful of) motorcyclists in traffic.

I acted as State Awareness and Safety Coordinator for A.B.A.T.E. of Texas. In that capacity, I developed and spearheaded a statewide billboard campaign, and helped promote a tripart Safety and Awareness Rally which gathered motorcyclists together in three cities across Texas, to raise awareness of our cause. As a state officer for A.B.A.T.E., I was also involved in efforts to bring mandatory rider education to the state, and create a statewide training program for novice cyclists and the instructors who would train them. In my spare time šŸ˜† I also edited the group’s newspaper, and designed a number of popular fundraising t-shirts.

Our billboard campaign, using no-cost or low-cost Public Service Announcement space provided by billboard companies like Duplex Advertising Company of Temple. Left to right, from top left: a) State Director of ABATE Texas, H.E. ‘Sundance’ Mitchell, at the press conference we held at the site of our very first billboard. b) Your humble narrator speaking at an ABATE State Members’ Rally in Llano, Texas. c) The stage at Llano, backstopped by one of our new full-color billboard posters. d) Our second billboard, on US Highway 190 west of Belton, Texas. e) Our first billboard location, on IH35 in Temple, Texas. f) It didn’t take long for the Texas Department of Public Safety‘s Motorcycle Safety Bureau to horn in on the act, stealing our headline and the billboard space we’d previously occupied.
 
Photographs courtesy of the author.
A Jody Via short story from Easyriders # 181, July 1988. Not his usual crime story as referenced below; just a quick yarn about a good ol’ fashioned beer-joint punch-up between two bikers and a room full of rednecks. Tropes and stereotypes ooze off the page. The bikers are brave, take-no-shit nomads: strangers until the fist started flying but brothers in arms in the heat of battle. They are, of course, outnumbered three-to-one, standing back to back against all odds, and the simple-minded, bigoted rednecks who were all bark and no bite. Here Via was simply tapping into the romanticized vision most Easyriders readers held of themselves. They were knights errant, living out the celluloid dreams of Easy Rider and Then Came Bronson in between shifts at the factory or feedlot where they earned their living.
Image courtesy of the author.

3) In researching this article, in a deep dive search for some of my favorite Easyriders writers, I unearthed the tragic tale of Jody Via. Jody was one of my faves from back in the day, capable of fashioning darkly compelling crime yarns from bolts of whole cloth….

….except that, per police, Via’s ‘yarns’ weren’t fiction at all. They say he was effectively recounting crimes he himself had committed during a murderous spree across Pennsylvania and Ohio in September, 1972, and selling them for publication!

First, we have Good Samaritan Harry Hoffman. Mr. Hoffman was a kindly gas station owner who stopped to help what appeared to be a young couple stranded at roadside. Hoffman took them back to his service station, and even made a fresh pot of coffee so they could warm up from the chill night air. For his troubles, Mr. Hoffman was bound, shot in the head and left for dead in the back room of his service station. He survived, and later identified his attacker in court.

Next, we have nineteen-year-old college student Jane Maguire, who fell for Via’s ‘stranded’ ruse and offered him a ride. Her body was discovered in a highway rest area. She had been raped, bound, shot in the head and left for dead. Sadly, Ms. Maguire did not survive.

Larry ‘Jody’ Via after arrest in 1972, from Allentown (PA) Morning Call.

Via, who had holed up in his wife’s home, was arrested, charged with and convicted of the crimes, and received a life sentence. While serving that sentence, Via began submitting poetry and short stories to Easyrider, which published several of his works. He later sold some pieces to Outlaw Biker magazine, as well.

One of Jody Via’s poems appeared in Easyriders # 79, in January, 1980.
Image courtesy of eBay seller Vintage Variety 60.

However, in 2019, investigators working the September 1972 cold-case murder of twenty-nine-year-old salesman Morgan Peters, in Pennsylvania, were directed by two of Via’s ex-wives to look at Via’s published writings. There, in the stories Via sold the biker magazines, police found detailed descriptions of each of his crimes, including the as-yet-unsolved slaying of Peters. Via, still in prison for the rape and murder of Jane Maguire, was charged with Peters’ slaying in 2019. He was seventy-five years old.

I have yet to learn what became of those charges or the defendant.

Man, that took a dark turn, didn’t it? 😮

Larry ‘Jody’ Via’s alleged final victim, Morgan Peters, from the Franklin County District Attorney. May he and Jane Maguire both Rest in Peace.

THE BIKERIDERS

Jack, Chicago Ā© Danny Lyon

THE BIKERIDERS (1968)

I first discovered Danny Lyon’s 1968 book The Bikeriders in 1980, when I came across a hardback first edition in a used book store, and what a discovery it was!

Cliff Vaughs, SNCC photographer, Arrested, Cambridge MD Spring, 1964 Ā© Danny Lyon

Danny Lyon is an award-winning lensman who spent the early days of the 1960s with the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), documenting the Civil Rights Movement in the Deep South (above).  In his first week in the South, Lyon was arrested, and spent a week in a cell beside a beleaguered Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior.

Clarksdale Mississippi Police, from Memories of the Civil Rights Movement, 1963 Ā© Danny Lyon

Upon release he was threatened with lynching by racist cops (like those pictured above) but persevered to become SNCC’s official photographer, documenting many of the key moments in the Civil Rights Movement’s quest for justice and racial equality.

John Lewis Ā© Danny Lyon

He also became lifelong friends with SNCC organizer and future Congressman John Lewis (above) and was at the Congressman’s side in the final days of Mr. Lewis’ life.

Benny at Grand and Division, 1965 and Memorial Day Run, Milwaukee Ā© Danny Lyon

After his efforts in the Deep South, Lyon — already a dedicated rider — returned to Chicago, enrolled in university there, and became a member of the Chicago Outlaws Motorcycle Club.

Danny Lyon, self portrait, with his 1956 Triumph Ā© Danny Lyon

As a full-patch member of the Outlaws, Lyon (aboard his beloved 1956 Triumph Thunderbird, above) rode and partied with the club, but also photographed Outlaws and patchholders from other clubs, their wives and girlfriends, motorcycle racers and mechanics and others involved in the motorcycle scene. 

Kathy, Chicago, 1967 Ā© Danny Lyon

He also conducted low-key, casual interviews with Outlaws and other clubbers, their old ladies, and some of the racers he’d met at tracks from Illinois to New Hampshire.

Racer, Shererville, Indiana’ 1965 Ā© Danny Lyon
From Dayton to Columbus, Ohio Ā© Danny Lyon

The resulting book was groundbreaking in many ways.  For starters, it combined Lyon’s technically brilliant and compassionately soulful images of the motorcycling world with transcripts of his interviews, in a format never before seen in American publishing.  It also made him one of the first observers (after Hunter S. Thompson of Hell’s Angels fame and Tom Wolfe, who wrote The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test) to document the rising phenomenon of ‘outlaw motorcycle clubs’, and his book the first photo book about bikers ever published.  Finally, it made his the very first book about clubs written by an actual member of a club, and giving voice to rank-and-file members of those clubs.

Brucie, his CH and Crazy Charlie, McHenry, Illinois Ā© Danny Lyon

Sadly, The Bikeriders  received little notice when it was first published, and quickly went out of print.  As psychotic as I have always been about reading and collecting books on motorcycling and other topics of interest, I’d never heard of Lyon or his book when I found that first edition hardback at Half-Price Books on Lavaca Street in Austin in 1980, but gladly paid the $4.95 for my copy….

The Bikeriders was first published in 1968. This is the cover of one of the many recent reissues.

….and by-the-by, as of this morning, those same first edition / first printing hardbacks were selling for anywhere from $1000 to $1850!  šŸ˜® Not that my copy is for sale anytime soon — as a biker and historian, the book is a precious resource — but it’s nice to know I scored one hell of a deal! šŸ˜†

Broken Gearbox, New Orleans, 1964 Ā© Danny Lyon

For a long time, at least amongst the bikers I rode with, no one had ever heard of Danny Lyon or his precious little book.  I stashed the slender volume on a shelf in my ‘permanent library’, and only showed it to people I really thought could appreciate this rare gem I’d uncovered.

Chopper, Milwaukee Ā© Danny Lyon

However, with the advent of social media I saw more and more people raving about his groundbreaking photojournalism: The Bikeriders, his monograph on the Texas prison system, his work with SNCC during the Civil Rights Movement of the early ’60s, his report on the destruction of Lower Manhattan and much, much more.

A BRIEF RETROSPECTIVE OF DANNY LYON’S WORK

Andy at The Stoplight, Cicero, Illinois, 1966 and Cal, Springfield, Illinois, 1966 Ā© Danny Lyon….
….and yes, that is a Hells Angels tattoo on Cal’s arm. He was a member of the Angels before moving to Chicago. A lateral move like that would not be tolerated in today’s biker world.
The Dominoes Players, Texas Walls Unit, 1967 Ā© Danny Lyon
Danville, Virginia, 1963 from The Movement Ā© Danny Lyon
Aerial View of Manhattan, 1966 from The Destruction of Lower Manhattan Ā© Danny Lyon
Llanito, New Mexico, 1972 Ā© Danny Lyon
Juarez (Eddie), 1978 Ā© Danny Lyon
Truck near Yuma, Arizona, 1962 Ā© Danny Lyon
Sparky and CowBoy, Gary Rogues, 1965 Ā© Danny Lyon
A potentially intriguing side note: the history behind this photograph was examined in an article by Stephen Franklin for Smithsonian Magazine in March, 2008. CowBoy (the capital ‘B’ is deliberate) and Sparky served together in Vietnam. When CowBoy was discharged, rather than return to his home state of Utah, he opted to travel to Sparky’s hometown of Gary, Indiana, to await Sparky’s return from Southeast Asia. Together, they joined the Rogues MC of Gary, and rode together for a number of years.
After returning to Utah in 1971, CowBoy was arrested and convicted of murdering a man who had snitched on a motorcycle club leader. He was sentenced to death — a sentence subsequently overturned due to prosecutorial misconduct — and in 1995 CowBoy was granted parole. At the time of the Smithsonian publication, he was still living in Utah, retired but still riding motorcycles. Sparky, who reportedly moved to Minnesota in the mid-’70s, could not be located for comment.

THE BIKERIDERS RIDES AGAIN, 1997 to 2014

Beginning in 1997, reissues of The Bikeriders began to appear. Some were über-expensive slip-cased collectors’ items, priced in the hundreds, but in 2003 Chronicle Books released a more reasonably priced revised edition, which gave Lyon’s work a second chance at the immortality it deserves.

Cal on the Springfield Run Ā© Danny Lyon

The new release included a number of ‘lost’ photographs — many in color like the one above — that the photographer unearthed from a forgotten file cabinet in the offices of Magnum Photos, where Lyon was an associate from 1967 to 1975.

Springfield Run Ā© Danny Lyon

The 2003 edition also included new remarks by the author about his personal history with the Outlaws Motorcycle Club, and why he hung up his colors. For those of us interested in the history of bikers, this was dynamite stuff!

Crossing the Ohio, Louisville, 1966 (Ā© Danny Lyon) is one of Lyon’s best-known images. I have had a poster-sized print (below) framed on the wall above my desk for decades.
Lyon’s Crossing the Ohio, Louisville, 1966 (Ā© Danny Lyon) is just one of many images I have plastered on my office walls. One of the things I love about Lyon’s work is that his photographs, most of them, could have been taken this morning. They are ageless, insightful, compassionate of their subjects, and technically brilliant.
Crossing the Ohio as reenacted by actor Austin Butler for Jeff Nichol’s 2024 film The Bikeriders. The film opens in general release Friday night, June 21st, and stars A-list talent like Butler, Jodie Comer, Tom Hardy and Norman Reedus. I have tickets to a preview screening tomorrow night, June 20th. šŸ˜ŽšŸ‘šŸ»

THE BIKERIDERS RIDES ONTO THE SILVER SCREEN, 2024

Apparently, filmmaker Jeff Nichols (Take Shelter, Midnight Special and Mud) agreed with that ‘dynamite’ assessment, because he took Lyon’s book — the photographs, interviews, and Lyon’s personal remarks — as inspiration for a new full-length feature film, also titled The Bikeriders and starring current A-list actors like Austin Butler (Elvis and Masters of the Air), Jodie Comer (Star Wars Episode IX and Killing Eve), and Tom Hardy (Band of Brothers and Inception).

Austin Butler as ‘Benny’, a reckless, passionate young man with a heavy throttle hand and a fierce loyalty to his club brothers.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Jodie Comer as ‘Kathy’, the fiery young redhead who marries the wild and hot-tempered ‘Benny’. There is already Oscar buzz around Comer’s performance as the tough-but-tender woman in love with her hot-headed wild boy.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Tom Hardy as ‘Johnny’, founder of the Vandals MC, an older man with quiet authority and secret ambitions.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Michael Faist (West Side Story and starring roles in Broadway productions of Newsies: The Musical and Dear Evan Hansen, for which he received a Tony nomination) as ‘Danny’, the idealistic young photojournalist who joins the fictional ‘Vandals MC’
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Michael Shannon (Grand Theft Parsons, Pearl Harbor and Tigerland) as ‘Zipco’, who laments his failed attempt to enlist for military service in Vietnam, and befriends a wayward Angel named Funny Sonny.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Norman Reedus (Gossip, The Boondock Saints and The Walking Dead) as ‘Funny Sonny’.
In real life, Funny Sonny (pictured below, riding with Chicago Outlaws member Zipco) was a Hells Angel who moved to Chicago and joined the Outlaws MC. That was a more innocent time. Shifting allegiance the way Sonny did would not be permitted in today’s club world.
It has been reported that Funny Sonny later received a savage beating from some younger Hells Angels who overheard him tell a waitress he had once been an Angel, and did not believe his protestations that he was, in fact, a former patchholder in the infamous California-based club. It is also said that, after the beatdown, some Hells Angels went to Sonny’s residence and forcibly confiscated any Angel memorabilia he had in his possession. šŸ˜’
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Funny Sonny packing with Zipco, Milwaukee Ā© Danny Lyon
Corky and Funny Sonny, Chicago Ā© Danny Lyon
The Hells Angels reportedly began the practice of patchholders kissing. It was — per Thompson in Hell’s Angels (1967) — partly a means of shocking square citizens, and partly a mark of true brotherhood.
I still remember the first time I saw two outlaw bikers lay a liplock on each other. I was behind the counter of the motorcycle shop where I worked and they kissed right in front of me. I think they expected me to be amongst the squares shocked by such antics. I think I shocked them when I simply grinned and turned away. 😁

Reading reports about the upcoming film and synopses of the plot, and viewing the trailer for the film, I feel certain the storyline depicted in the film will be heavily weighted by Lyon’s later remarks about his tenure with the club. The film’s ‘rise and fall’ arc seems to reflect the photographer’s disillusionment with the club’s turn from a band of rowdy hard-riding roughnecks to a grimmer, more dangerous organization.

From the photo book VANDALS: The Photography of the Motion Picture The Bikeriders
Ā© 2024 Insight Editions

I’m still excited to see the film.  If nothing else, a ‘biker flick’ from A-listers like Butler, Comer, Hardy and Nichols will become part of biker history, along the lines of The Wild One and Easy Rider.

The Wild One (1953): Star Lee Marvin (fun-loving biker ‘gang’ leader Chino) argues with Robert Keith (outgunned local sheriff Harry Bleeker) as Marlon Brando (disaffected punk Johnny Strabler) stands mute and painfully ‘hep’.
Easy Rider (1969): Stars Dennis Hopper (the manic Billy) and Peter Fonda (über-cool Wyatt) with Captain America, the most recognizable motorcycle on the planet, idle past a local cop with an attitude about longhaired hippie types in his East Texas burg.

The Bikeriders may well have the power, as those films did, to impact the future of biker life in America and around the world. However, I am NOT expecting a happily-ever-after ending for Kathy, Benny, Johnny and the boys.

Jodie Comer and Austin Butler as ‘Kathy’ and ‘Benny’ in The Bikeriders
Ā© 2024 Focus Features

Guess we’ll find out this weekend, eh? šŸ˜†

Austin Butler with the 1965 panhead-powered Electra-Glide he rides in the film.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Only in theaters…. Ā© 2024 Focus Features
Austin Butler as ‘Benny’ Ā© 2024 Focus Features
The Vandals MC Ā© 2024 Focus Features
This is another reenactment of a photograph from The Bikeriders. Per Danny Lyon, who was on set when this scene was filmed, ‘Austin Butler, who is as handsome as God, lifts his head up and looks into the camera. That’s the shot!’
As handsome as God…? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø Hmm…. šŸ¤”
Ā© 2024 Focus Features
The photograph in question — the original, as published in The Bikeriders and Austin Butler’s portrayal on set. As filming was wrapping up, Danny Lyon managed to reconnect with the real-life Benny, still alive and living in Florida. After a pleasant bit of catching up, Benny told the photographer ‘Hey, you know the picture of me at the pool hall?’ Lyon said ‘Yeah?’ and Benny said ‘Check out the tattoos. It’s not me.’ šŸ˜†

NOW, LET THE MARKETING BEGIN! ā˜£ļø

It should come as no surprise that swag for The Bikeriders film is already flying off the shelves. The other day I posted on Facebook about a $1250 ‘Vandals’ jacket on offer from Schott Brothers, the same purveyors of leather goods who crafted Marlon Brando’s famous ‘Perfecto’ jacket for the 1953 film The Wild One. They are now offering a ‘D-Pocket Jacket’ like the one Tom Hardy’s character wears in the film.

The Schott Bros. promote their $1250 ‘Vandals’ leather jacket.
….and even replicate Danny Lyon’s Crossing the Ohio, Louisville, 1966 for their advertising campaign.

Then there’s the photo book VANDALS: The Photography of the Motion Picture ‘The Bikeriders’ (2024), which is available through Amazon, Schott’s website, and goddess knows where else….

….and, of course, official merch from the filmmakers themselves, including denim jackets with Vandals MC ‘colors’ printed or embroidered on the back, matching ball caps, t-shirts, hoodies and sweatpants (sweatpants? 😮 Really? 😱).

I am not pimping for these mercenary fecks, BTW; I’m just alerting you, gentle reader, to exactly WTF is going on in the motorcycling world, for better or worse. 😱

Those of us who have been riding for a while are having flashbacks to Sons of Anarchy and all the relentless marketing surrounding that production. To this day, people are showing up at motorcycle events wearing official ‘support’ t-shirts and pirated copies of SoA colors, and YouTube teems with videos of people warning riders of issues with faux club colors, like the ones the couple below are sporting.

Just for the record: DON’T!

I’d love to hear back from anyone who’s seen The Bikeriders movie. I’ll do my best to respond to comments ASAP.

Shalom!

Austin Butler lets out a wild, joyful shout as he hauls ass through the fields outside Chicago.
Ā© 2024 Focus Features

A MOMENT OF SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION

Featured

That devastatingly handsome model sporting the latest in biker fashion is none other than your humble narrator, AKA the chief cook and bottle washer here at The Shovel Shop! šŸ˜Ž

The Shovel Shop Store is now open. If you’d like to help an old scooter tramp stay caffeinated while he hammers out his motorcycle-themed ramblings, just visit the Shovel Shop Store and scoop up some cool biker swag: t-shirts, coffee mugs, patches, and whatever other crap I can think up! Collect ’em all! Tell your friends! Support your favorite greybeard! šŸ˜Ž

GEORGEĀ  THEĀ  PAINTER, aka GTP, aka George Frizzell

NSFW content ahead. Brace yourselves.

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Pussy and Bourbon # 1 by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

The term ‘acquired taste’ was coined for characters like George the Painter, but I confess that it is a taste I have acquired. In my collection I have a number of his prints, purchased from the artist himself through the old The Horse / Back Street Choppers readers’ forum, where we were both frequent flyers in the early ’00s. I look forward to displaying some of them in the Adults Only section of MMMoMMA soon. šŸ˜

Life of Kings by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

♫ I’m trailer trash / drunk off my ass / and my savings went to liquor so I’m all out of cash…. ♫ Ā© 2021 Caroline’s Daughter. šŸ˜†

Rebel by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell. The ‘RAT LIFE’ tattoo is one of GTP’s own.
Oh Hell Yea [sic] by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

When he chooses to, GTP can get downright representational, as with the Sporty above and the moonlit chopper below. I find that painting particularly evocative.

* EK87S *, a commission by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell. Titles marked with asterisks are ones I made up, because the artist’s title was unknown.

Others evince a technical mastery of light, color and shadow that nudges the neighborhood of realism, without fully crossing the line.

Hogster by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Knucklehead * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
*Knucklehead * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

….and when he’s not painting blowsy barflies, GTP is capable of more pedestrian images.

This looks suspiciously like the scenic and thrilling Tail of the Dragon, which leaves Maggie Valley, North Carolina, (home of Dale Walksler’s famous Wheels Through Time Museum) and meanders over the state line into Tennessee, with a challenging 318 curves in just 11 miles! 😮 Overconfident (or overserved) riders have come to unhappy ends in those hills, but it’s a destination ride for our tribe, and motorcyclists come from around the world to challenge the Tail and visit the motorcycle museum. Highly recommended, BTW.
* Peterbilt Posse * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* The Boys * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Pickup * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Cometic * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Chopper Couple * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Kiss * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

Richie Pan was a renowned artist, tattooist and bike builder from New Jersey who was killed in an auto-pedestrian crash on his way home from the annual North Carolina Smokeout. I mentioned him in my article about David Mann, but GTP knew Richie Pan, had been tattooed by him, and painted two portraits of his friend.

* Richie Pan in his shop * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell. Richie is seated on his beloved panhead, Viola.
* Richie Pan in the wind * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

As with David Mann, Edward Hopper and other favorite artists, George Frizzell will insert himself into his work at times, as with this oddly-named canvas: Intergalactic Attack Formation # 1….

Intergalactic Attack Formation # 1 by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell. That is GTP hisself, trademark sneer in place, aboard the shovelhead he calls ‘Leaky Latowski’. He reports that the original canvas now lives in Australia.

….and this, where he demonstrates Leaky Latowski’s low-end torque.

When Pigs Fly by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

Finally, in this recent canvas, GTP notes that he ‘wanted to paint a loser with a busted ass bike and it ended up being a self portrait.’ He was raffling off the original canvas, and noted, ‘I’ve been off my Shovel for long enough and this raffle will send some cash in the right direction!’ I can relate! If they were still on offer, I’d buy a ticket or two myself! šŸ˜Ž

* Loser * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

However, like a lot of bikers, GTP seems to delight in the age-old game called ‘shocking the squares,’ and he plays it well!

Rothouse 187 by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

GTP’s work is sometimes hard to look at – rude and graphic and in-your-face, much like the artist himself – and not everyone can hang with it.  However, if the viewer is open and brave enough, they are going to meet an America few folks will talk about; a grim, hostile underbelly filled with proud white trash, loud motorcycles, barflies, brawlers, booze and sex and rock ‘n’ roll.  GTP takes all of this in, and then flings it at the viewer like blood, sweat and spinal fluid, in violent knife-edged spasms of color, light and shadow. 

V by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

If you can hang, study what GTP has created on canvas, and you will discover an uncompromising artist with a hard-core, anarchic sense of self, which makes him a Charles Bukowski of the painted word. 

Blow Job by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
Two of George’s more noticeable tattoos: WHITE TRASH ICON and RAT LIFE.

SHOVELHEAD LOVE

Like me, George loves his shovelheads, and they feature prominently in his art. I’m always glad to see my favorite Milwaukee motor represented, but….

* Shovelhead SS * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Shovelhead * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Shovelhead * in charcoal by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Shovelhead * in charcoal by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
Some wag suggested * Hogwarts’ Hagrid gets a Harley * as a title. Whatever. It’s another Shovelhead by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.
* Shovel Jesus * by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell.

If you’re really brave, read a few of GTP’s columns in back issues of The Horse / Back Street Choppers — the now-defunct biker rag that gave Frizzell a resident platform for his art and off-the-wall screeds — and you’ll see that George comes by his ‘fuck the world’ brand of hardscrabble individualism honestly. He is brutally forthright about living his life his way.  Dilettantes and poseurs need not apply.

The Horse / Backstreet Choppers

The Horse / Backstreet Choppers was a weak imitation of the OG Easyriders* magazine, which began in 1970, but The Horse did feature owner-built choppers in amongst all the pouty-lipped models, hipster-bearded and tattooed ‘old skool’ wannabes and eye-boggling graphics. The Horse / Backstreet Choppers was GTP’s home away from home for many years. They published his artwork and many of his rambling, overheated screeds. Those columns were later collected into a ‘bathroom reader‘ that is now out-of-print, and listed for stoopid money on eBay and Amazon.

Yet another shovelhead; this one with the inscrutable title Deluxe Space Robot by George ‘GTP’ Frizzell. That is his Leaky Latowski fuel tank on the floor.

In a documentary series, Richie Pan’s America, George said he wasn’t much of a writer, wasn’t much of a painter, wasn’t much of a bike builder, and yet he’s famous. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

He also made a comment that speaks volumes about him, and about bikers in general. He said, ‘Being poor and destitute without a motorcycle is completely uncool, but you can be the same motherfucker and have a motorcycle between your legs — still have no place to live — and it’s cool….’

I don’t know about George, but in my career as a biker, I’ve been homeless, without a car, a job or bank account, but I’ve always had a bike, and yeah, that’s pretty feckin’ cool! šŸ˜Ž

Let’s let GTP go out the same way he came in, with a hearty ‘Fuck You’ to all and sundry! šŸ˜Ž

George the Painter can be found offending the world in these locations (to name just a few): https://www.instagram.com/georgethepainter, https://www.instagram.com/fineartforw_hitetrash, https://georgethepainter.bigcartel.com/products, https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/george-frizzell/art/george+frizzell, https://www.facebook.com/GeorgeFrizzellJr,

And his latest endeavor, Chopper Hostel, billed as ‘a great place to hide the bodies,’ at https://chopperhostel.com/

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

ā¤ļø A brief pictorial history of a love affair for the ages. ā¤ļø

Forty-five years ago I was a kid with a dream of owning a Harley-Davidson. I put away the alcohol and drugs that I’d abused all through my teens, got not one but two jobs, saved some money for a down-payment and worked with my credit union to establish credit. Now it was time to find the bike of my dreams….

….and find her I did.

I began my search at the stealership on Burnet Road in Austin, just south of Koenig Lane, where the sales manager treated me like the Julia Roberts character in Pretty Woman. For whatever reason — my age, my long hair, my jeans-and-t-shirt wardrobe choices — he apparently assumed I wasn’t well-heeled enough to afford a Harley. When I announced that I was there to buy a bike he said ‘The used bikes are outside,’ waved a lazy hand in the direction of the door, turned on his heel and walked away. In previous visits to that shop I had watched that man do everything short of performing fellatio on the showroom floor to make a sale, so, yeah, I took being treated that way personally.

But it worked out well for me, because as I was leaving the stealership I spotted a Harley in a used car lot two doors up the street….

….and that Harley — the 1974 FX-1200 Superglide I named The Bitch — has been under my ass or in my garage ever since.

Forty-five years! 😮 Outside my blood relations, there is not a single relationship in my life older than the one between me and The Bitch.

So, Happy Anniversary, baby! Let’s do forty-five more! šŸ˜Ž


Forgive me, Ralph, for I have sinned….

In his 1979 article* about the Bandidos Motorcycle Club, Texas Monthly writer Dick Reavis created a humorous sidebar about the First Church of Harley-Davidson, located in Denton, Texas. The sect’s theology is a little off-center — the church’s founder, Malvern Daugherty, AKA ‘Reverend Box’, describes it as a ‘beer-and-reefer church’ — but some members claim to believe in Ralph, the little tin god of all things Harley-Davidson.

True believers feel that Ralph lives within each Harley-Davidson engine and, as Reavis writes, ‘that he is a jealous and exacting god. In order to worship him, Harley owners must kneel and carry out monkish acts of ritual devotion, like changing oil, tuning up, and keeping Ralph’s motor-temple clean. ā€œThe more religiously you carry out maintenance, the more Ralph smiles on you,ā€ oracle Box proclaims. Inspired study of the Harley repair manual is considered necessary to gain Ralph’s grace.

First Churchers fear Ralph’s wrath, which a few of them have suffered firsthand. ā€œYou’ll be puttin’ down the road one day when all of a sudden your motor will thunder out ā€˜Rraaaallphh!’ That’s his punishment for infidels. You’ll find that your motor won’t run anymore, if it’s in one piece, and as for Ralph, he’ll be gone from it, back to his celestial home.ā€ This vengeful visitation, Box says, is called ā€œRalphing it on the road.ā€

While I’m not a member of the First Church of Harley-Davidson (if it still exists; that was written in 1979) I will allow that some spirit lives within Harley-Davidson engines — that’s what gives Harley-Davidson its legendary ‘soul’ — and that it is possible to piss them off….

….as I have apparently done.

You see, I sinned by taking The Bitch — my beloved 1974 shovelhead — for granted. When I parked her years ago, I didn’t do the things one must do to keep Ralph happy while his motorcycle home sits idle. I didn’t add fuel stabilizer to the petrol tanks or, better yet, drain the damned things. I didn’t put the battery on a trickle charger to keep it fresh, or fire the bike up and run it for fifteen minutes or so, which is apparently what is required to burn off any condensation that may have accumulated in the oiling system. I didn’t do nothin’ except hoist The Bitch up on a stand and slap a chain and padlock on her.

To be fair, I didn’t realize I was parking the bike for years. I’d had a get-off that destroyed the inner primary, and assumed I would make the repairs and get back in the saddle in short order. However, life had other plans.

In December, on my way to a Toy Run, FFS, I had a get-off in a highway underpass. The hows and whys are a story unto themselves, but the end result was a very expensive jigsaw puzzle!

For one thing, I got an opportunity to return to college, to complete the bachelor’s degree I had begun working toward the same year I bought The Bitch. There were forms to fill out, an application essay to write, interviews and appointments and registration…. and then there were classes, and homework, and, y’know, life stuff, like family gatherings and dates with my wife and dinners with friends, and I simply lost track of time. One day I looked up and realized it had been years.

That is when my quest to trike the shovelhead began in earnest, but still, The Bitch sat in the garage, more hat-rack than Harley, as I did all I did to try to procure a trike frame for her. After those efforts failed, and I bought the Freewheeler I am currently riding, any urgency to get The Bitch running quickly waned again. I had something new to distract me, and the learning curve of getting used to life on three wheels. The shovel would wait. šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø Yet another sin against Ralph.

As noted in my previous post, I got a wild hair to enter my shovelhead in the Handbuilt Motorcycle Show, so I began working on replacing fluids, battery, et cetera. I foolishly believed The Bitch, my faithful steed of forty-five years, would magically not suffer the degradations of time in idle limbo; that the gas would probably be just fine, the carburetor still fully functional, the inner tubes still airtight.

Yeah. That didn’t happen.

Believing the fuel tanks to be close to empty, I poured most of a gallon of fresh petrol in them before learning that the carburetor was not still fully functional, and that the damned petcock leaked whenever I turned it on.

This leaking petcock would need to be replaced. I had to loosen the fatbob mounting bolts fore and aft to get the petcock, with its 90° outlet, past the backside of the shovelhead’s rocker boxes.

I ordered a carburetor rebuild kit and replacement petcock from Amazon, available for next-day delivery, and called it a night. The next day, when the new parts arrived, I got stuck back into my penance…. umm, my mechanical efforts…. and began draining the fuel tanks as I rebuilt the carburetor.

Yeah, that didn’t happen, either.

The rebuild kit was nothing but made-in-China crap — the gaskets didn’t fit and the float valve needle was a full 1/8th of an inch longer than OEM! 😮 It’s as if, in creating this kit, the manufacturers looked at the pictures in a service manual and used their best approximation of the necessary sizes. Utterly useless, and on its way back to the Commie bastards who created it.

She’s missing something, but I can’t quite put my finger on just what….

So I turned my attention to the tanks, and realized there was far more petrol in there than I’d realized. The first can I used to catch fuel overflowed, so I deployed a second, and thought I’d pretty well gotten everything out. Time to replace the petcock then, right?

Except that, when I removed the petcock, another gallon of petrol splashed out!

I was panicked, getting doused with the stuff and unable to get the petcock back in place, but I did finally managed to get a gas can under the tank outlet and catch the last one-third of a gallon. However, the rest splashed all over the floor and began spreading rapidly, as petrol is wont to do.

In a mad scramble, accompanied by much cursing, wailing and gnashing of teeth, I used crumpled newspaper to sop up as much of the stuff as I could, but the smell remained. Dunno if you’ve ever had the pleasure, but years-old petrol reeks even worse than the fresh stuff you spill on the side of your car at the local convenience store. It reeks, and the stench lingers for a really long time!

Bless her heart, Jackie braved the hail of cusswords and self-recrimination I unleashed in the moment to come to my aid. She also did a quick Google search, and learned that kitty litter will supposedly absorb the odor. I will tell you that at this moment, over thirteen hours after I spread the kitty litter, it is no silver bullet. If any of the odor has been absorbed, or dissipated out the vent fan that’s been running for the past forty-eight hours, I can’t tell. That crap still reeks!

UPDATE: It took over seventy-two hours, the aforementioned application of kitty litter and a good scrubbing of the garage floor with a mixture of vinegar and baking soda to finally clear that stench from the garage! 🤢

I did manage to learn why the tank retained so much petrol after I thought it drained. Turned out that the petcock’s filter was clogged almost three inches up its length — the rust a fuel stabilizer might have prevented, don’tcha know — so that, even with the petcock on its ‘reserve’ setting, none of that last gallon of gas could escape….

….until I removed the petcock, of course! šŸ™„

Neil Young tried to warn me: RUST NEVER SLEEPS!
Who knows what kind of rust and other crud is up there, inside that hole?

So here I am. The shovel can’t be put back together because I don’t have the carburetor rebuild kit required, and I’m probably going to have to remove and cleanse the tanks — just the job I was hoping I would not have to do!

Ralph is really stickin’ it to me, dammit! 🤬🤬🤬

  • I will reproduce Mr. Reavis’ article in a future post. The Bandido MC photo at the top of the page, from Mr. Reavis’ article, was taken by Chris Wahlberg Ā© 1979 Texas Monthly

It was a thought….

The Bitch, my beloved 1974 shovelhead, has been sitting and gathering dust and cobwebs for several years more than I care to admit. Long story, but anyhoo….

Jackie and I are packing up the house in Austin — it’s already listed for sale — and prepping for our anticipated move to San Antonio, so I’ve felt fortunate to have the 2016 Freewheeler to ride, and assumed The Bitch would be trailered to SA in its existing condition.

But then I saw the announcements for this coming weekend’s Handbuilt Motorcycle Show, including a call for entries. I scanned the photo galleries of past events, and didn’t see anything that looked like The Bitch, so I thought, ‘Hmmm…. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head, getting my weary old road warrior in a show with all these slick, sleek professionally built custom bikes?’ What can I say? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø I’m evil that way. 😈

Only trick is that when you submit an entry, you promise that the motorcycle you show will be running when you deliver it to the showgrounds. Hence, with Jackie’s encouragement, I started scrambling to get The Bitch fired up.

That’s just the color you want to see on a set of plugs!

First step: drain as much sumped oil as possible from the crankcase. I pulled the sparkplugs, still a lovely shade of tan because I know how to tune the shovel properly, and dropped the feed from the oil-bag, and started kicking, and kicking, and kicking….

Oil being returned to the oil-bag as I kick drains into the oil pan on the floor.
The flow from the crankcase, as I kick, is forced out the chain oiler through the crankcase breather.
Imagine: we used to let that waste oil drain into the ground and think nothing of it. Now we have to collect it in containers, and make an appointment to take it to the Hazardous Waste Recycling Center, which is all the way down IH35, south of Ben White Boulevard! It’s a wonder more people aren’t just dumping the stuff on the ground, still. Not me, of course — I’m a good steward of the earth these days — but I’ll bet there are a lot of gearheads who can’t be arsed to drain and retain the way I do.
UPDATE: a couple weeks after publishing the post you’re currently reading, I rediscovered this clipping I had in my files, from Popular Science back in 1963, and thought I’d share it with y’all.

I finally got enough oil out that I thought I might be good to go, so I reattached the feed line and poured two quarts of Valvoline Grade 50 into the oil-bag. It will officially hold three, but in my experience, that includes any oil stored in the external filter and connecting lines. The tank itself might hold two and a half. However, since the 50 is just to flush the system, two will do what needs doing.

The last battery I bought The Bitch measured 5.25×3.5×7″ and weighed 11 pounds! 😮

Next up was the battery. I’d been buying lovely gel batteries from the BMW shop on North Lamar, but the bastards had the nerve to go out of business. However, Cycle Gear over on US Highway 183 at Burnet Road came to the rescue. It took a couple of tries, but they came up with a Lithium Ion battery from Duraboost. First one I’ve ever purchased. It’s smaller and lighter, with no acid to fuss about, and has the added advantage of being mountable in any position, even upside down, without leaking or malfunctioning. Not a cheap date, but worth every penny, IMO. I imagine chopper builders the world over are ecstatic about these things!

This little jewel measures 5.3 x 2.6 x 3.6″, and weighs a measly 1.3 pounds! 😮😮😮 It also fits neatly into the battery box with inches to spare!

Added bennie: Cycle Gear gave me a discount for being a veteran! šŸ‘šŸ»

Thinking I might be ready to give The Bitch a try, I took her off the hydraulic stand she’d been resting on for years — an adventure in itself — and leaned her over on her kickstand, where she immediately began puking oil all over the floor. I started to panic, thinking all my nice new 50-weight was going to end up soaking into old issues of The Austin Chronicle. Apparently I hadn’t cleared as much of the sumped oil as I’d thought, but it stopped in short order.

So now I have oil, lights and power. What next? Oh, yeah…. petrol! šŸ‘šŸ»

Behind that very ‘old school’ panhead air cleaner cover is a fifty-year-old Zenith Bendix 38mm carburetor that has served me very well for forty-five years!

The Bitch still runs the OEM Zenith Bendix carburetor she came with from the factory — a juicy, easy-to-kickstart mixer that has served me well over the years. The Bendix has powered The Bitch and I well over half a million miles, from sea-level Galveston and Corpus Christi to the top of Rocky Mountain Nat’l Park — 11,798′ above sea level — and from the Texas border with Mexico to the Badlands of South Dakota. We’ve been up and down the Rockies on numerous trips, and all over the desert Southwest, with nary an adjustment or stutter. I spent years working the parts counter at Bud’s Motorcycle Shop on East First Street, and I was just agog at the pains some riders went through to rejet their carburetors in advance of road trips. Some even installed adjustable main-jets! Me, I was always, like, ‘Why?‘ šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø The Bitch just never needed it.

But as good a carb as the Bendix is, no carburetor will tolerate being ignored for years. They develop…. issues, you might say, and mine was not the exception I was hoping it would be. Nope. I poured some petrol in the tank, flipped the petcock lever, and….

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Not a drop of petrol was getting from tank to jet. Curses! 🤬

The carburetor prior to disassembly….

I dropped the bowl, catching the requisite handful of petrol as I did. One of my least favorite things, the smell of gasoline on my hands, because it lingers. C’est la vie, right? I wiped the bowl clean and blew compressed air through the passage from fuel pump to jet, clearing the passage of whatever obstruction it had, and thought I’d scored big-time! I reassembled the carb, turned the petcock back on, and watched heartbroken as petrol Niagara’d all over my engine from the vent at the back of the bowl. Curses again! 🤬

That petcock has less than fifty miles on it, and leaks like a sieve. Apparently, that’s a common problem with aftermarket petcocks. If the one I get tomorrow fails, I guess I’ll be shopping at the stealership again.

I took it all apart again, inspected and cleaned the float needle, and gave it another go. Same mess. Dammit! And, as if that weren’t enough, the petcock, which is virtually brand new, has sprung a leak as well. Imma have to get used to eating food that tastes like gasoline for the next several days. 🤢

I have a coffee can filled with petcocks, fuel filters and carburetor parts — even a spare Bendix carb — but in the rush to prep the house for sale, I naturally packed it and stowed it in the storage unit we rented. šŸ™„ I ran up to the storage unit and retrieved that tin and another filled with fuel line and clamps, but did not find the Bendix rebuild kit I thought I had in stock. Need I say ‘Curses!’ again? 🤬

The carburetor in amongst spare parts from my stash, but I decided against trying to piece it together with odd parts. I’ll have the rebuild kit tomorrow, and handle it then.

Since Bud’s is no longer in business, following Bud Reveile’s untimely death in 2015, the odds of finding a rebuild kit in town are slim to none, so I jumped on Amazon and, sure enough, they have ’em available for next-day delivery! They also have a petcock that will allegedly fit my 1997 Softail tanks. Fingers crossed they’re right. šŸ¤žšŸ»

So, I’m at an stopping point for the moment. More anon….

….but during all the mad dashing to get the bike running, I received a message from the Handbuilt Motorcycle Show staff telling me my entry has been rejected! 😭 REJECTED!?!? How could they do that to my baby? 😢

Seriously, I knew my last-minute, unconventional entry was a longshot in a show packed full of sleek, pristine machines, but it was worth a shot, no? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø And it gave me the kick in the ass I needed to get The Bitch fired up. No reason to quit now!

And I’m still going to the show, despite the slight! šŸ˜Ž Maybe see some of y’all there!

UPDATE:

I did in fact attend the show, with my old friend Bil (one ‘L’ only) from ‘way back in my glory days. It was fun enough, wandering around checking out the flash machines. A lot of shiny chit to gawk at, most of it Euro or Pacific Rim in origin.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. šŸ˜

I’ll take ‘Things I Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead On’ for $400, Alex.
I’ll take ‘Things I’d Be Embarrassed to Park Beside’ for $1000, Alex.
Some nice details on these knuckleheads, but there really is such a thing as ‘too much’, y’know?
I mean, I like Steampunk effects well enough, but….
….there’s cool accents and then….
….there’s overload.
Newton R-n-D Yamaha Triple. Odd AF, but at least they broke the mold.
The flip-side of Newton’s Yammer-Hammer.
There were some old school chops, like this very classic panhead and the Honda Four beside it….
….and then there was this Sporty trike set up for a wheelchair rider. If you’ve read my posts titled chal•lenge, and chal•lenge, part two you know that I’ve long been fascinated by handicap adaptations for motorcyclists, so this really caught my eye.
This part in particular intrigued me – a fold-out transfer board for shifting from saddle to wheelchair. The other wheelchair users I’ve known – motorcyclists and cagers alike – just muscled their way back and forth. That’s what I did when I was in a chair after my accident, but it requires upper-body strength not all wheelchair users possess. This would definitely make life easier for those folks.
Trick, no?
Then there was this oddity – another Yamaha creation – which happened to be parked right beside….
….the Coroner’s Office? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø The show was held in the old printing plant of the Austin American-Statesman on South Congress, right where the billboard company I worked for once had their headquarters.
I have no idea why the Statesman might have had an office for the Coroner, or if that was some wag’s idea of humor. Maybe this was actually the newspaper’s morgue, where old back-issues are kept on file for reference? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø
In any event, using the Statesman’s property for a motorcycle show was an interesting choice, given the daily’s editorial bias against motorcyclists. Or maybe it was just bikers they disliked so intensely? All I can tell you is that I have my own ‘morgue’ of newspaper clippings from the Statesman, documenting their long history of anti-biker bigotry.
In any event, Bil and I had a good enough time, walking our mutually gimped legs off checking out the displays….

….but I soon realized that, of the two choices I had for that weekend’s entertainment, the Texas Fandango out in Gillespie County would have been much more my speed. Hosted by the Cherokee Chapter of the Antique Motorcycle Club of America (of which I am an erstwhile member), the Texas Fandango features vintage machines – many of them American – along with a Ā vintage swap meet, bike show, chopper show, Xtreem Flattrack Racing, drag racing, Custom Van show and free camping. It also has the advantage of being held in the scenic Texas Hill Country, with great riding roads all around, as opposed to the Handbuilt Show, which is held in very un-scenic and hard-to-get-to downtown Austin.

The Texas Fandango is coming up soon, April 4th through 6th, 2025, and I’m really, really wanting to make the scene if I can. My friend, artist Norman Bean, is slated to be there, with his incredible artwork on display, and it is to be hoped that other old faces might pop up, as well.

It would be nice to spend time with my tribe again. šŸ˜Ž

chal•lenge, part two

(chal’enj) n. anything that calls for special effort

Copyright Ā© 2023 by Bill James at The Shovel Shop, Austin, Texas

As noted in my last post, I became interested in adapting motorcycles for use by riders with disabilities after helping design and construct a shovelhead-powered trike for a quadriplegic rider disabled in a motorcycle crash.  However, I never anticipated a need for such adaptations for myself, but….

….Fate or Life or The Universe (the bastard) had other ideas.

😱😮😳😢😔🤬

The structure I fell from, with new panels to replace the ones that gave way under my hook ladder.

In July of 2004 I fell 35’ from a billboard structure I was climbing.  I ended up with an open compound fracture of my right tibia and fibula – two breaks in each bone, with the jagged ends sticking up through the skin — and a left foot pulverized ā€˜to dust’ per the surgeon who attempted to repair it.  However, worst of all was the burst fracture of my L-4 vertebra.  Between the three injury sites – a perverse Trifecta of Pain, if you will – nothing south of my waist works the way it’s supposed to….

….and I mean nothing!  😔

I might be smiling, but there was nothing fun about that hospital stay!

I was hospitalized for twelve days that first time and underwent four surgeries, with numerous hospital stays and surgeries to come. I was still wheelchair-bound when they sent me home, and lived in a hospital bed set up in our living room for the rest of the summer.

Me and my new wheels, back at the crib!
My friend Bryan built the ramp for me, and a bunch of folks from the church where Jackie and I were married came by to sign it and scribble ‘get well’ wishes on it.
When you’ve been active and physical most of your adult life, lying around watching television all day is not near as much fun as it sounds, but I made the best I could of it.

I was in the wheelchair well into September, having physical therapy and additional surgeries, before I could graduate to crutches, and then a walker. I still remember what a rush it was (literally and figuratively) to finally stand unaided and kiss Jackie from above, for the first time since the fall. I had to sit right back down again, but that kiss was the start of me getting back on my feet.

And get back on my feet I did. One hundred and twenty days after my fall, I limped out to my driveway, kickstarted my old rigid-framed shovelhead and took it for a ride around the neighborhood.  Probably not my brightest move – I was still recovering from major surgeries including a spinal fusion at L-3-4-5 – but damn! did it feel good in the moment!  Look at the photos taken that day, and the shit-eating grin on my face.  After all I’d been through, it appeared I would still be able to ride my motorcycle.

The Bitch started first kick after three and a half months of down time. I was so proud of my baby that day!
Oh, yeah! I was a happy man in that moment!
And a-w-a-a-a-a-a-a-y we go!
S-o-o-o-o-o-o happy!

As my recovery progressed, I took a few more rides on the shovel, but quickly learned that the geometry of my body had been permanently altered by the accident.  I’d spent decades sitting down in the bike, on a frame-mounted butt bucket LaPera saddle, but now that position caused almost immediate low-back pain, and sent referred pain down both legs.  Symptoms included spasms, sharp stabbing pain, throbbing pain, all manner of pain….

It was clear that I had to be seated with my hips above my knees, rather than below them; that flexion (being bent beyond 90° at the waist) was not my friend.

The Bitch with her frame-mounted butt-bucket saddle. On it I was seated down in the motorcycle, rather than on it. Great feeling, better road sense, lower center of gravity, et cetera, but not user-friendly for the new me.

Thus began a series of experiments.  One of the benefits of working in a motorcycle shop like Bud’s was almost unlimited access to parts, so I could dabble on the cheap. 

First was a Softail solo saddle.  It was puffy enough that it almost raised me high enough off the frame.  However, it wasn’t enough, and my attempt at a rider backrest – a tiny sissybar backrest pad and a couple of stainless-steel struts from an old FL windshield – failed to do the job.

Nice try, but no cigar.

Next was a bit of R&D in the best East Austin tradition, to see if a traditional OEM pogo stick might do what I needed.  I borrowed a single bright red fatbob tank, a pogo stick and t-bar, and a funky old buddy seat I found in amongst the takeoffs and rejects in Bud’s shop.  Test rides proved that a pogo stick could work, but only if I ran the optional OEM heavy-duty spring set, Harley part no. 51771-29

This might have been ugly as sin, but it did let me know I was heading in the right direction.

Bud tracked down a customer who had a brand-new set of the heavy-duty springs he would part with. Bud also gifted me a set of late-model flat-side fatbobs, which was a nice hit.  Unlike the original fatbobs found on knucks, pans and shovelheads, the flat-side bobs aren’t prone to cracking and leaking.  Nothing like a lapful of petrol at 60 MPH to put a damper on an otherwise pleasant ride! 😮

Late model flatside fatbobs in a factory blue, with my old bobber fenders painted to match. Since they were Bud’s final gift to me, I am reluctant to mess with the paint scheme.

However, the way the flat-side bobs mount to the frame prevented us from using the traditional t-bar.  Instead, Harley Bob, one of Bud’s ace mechanics and welders, had to relocate the front mounting point for the t-bar, and then heat and bend my t-bar to make it fit.  I topped that off with a traditional OEM leather tractor seat saddle; the one Harley-Davidson had been using since 1923.  I actually bought it from the local Harley dealership, no less!

The result was one-of-a-kind, but it worked to get my hips above my knees, thus eliminating one problem, but now I had another. I generally dislike seeing a windshield on an unfaired bike, but my weakened back muscles could not withstand the buffeting of winds at highway speeds, so I crafted another rider backrest. This time, I took the back off an old industrial office chair and connecting it to the underside of the tractor seat, as seen below.  I cut some stiff-celled foam to fit, found an upholsterer to cover the thing in black leather to match the saddle, and pronounced it good.

There’s my homemade backrest before I sicced the upholsterer on it.
….and here it is completed. It didn’t work quite as well as I’d hoped….
....but it wasn’t terrible-looking, was it?
Better than this, at least…. 
 
….right? 
 Right?
šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

And it was a good idea, if I say so myself. The backrest worked like a champ once I was up and rolling with my weight on the saddle, and I could have ridden all day with it like that. 

Unfortunately, the moment I stopped for any reason and shifted my weight to one foot or the other, those heavy-duty pogo stick springs forced the backrest into my already pained back.  It felt like a torture device the Spanish Inquisition might have appreciated. 

The sucky part is that it worked great while I was moving!
Backrest had to go!

I finally admitted defeat, set the backrest aside and bolted on an FL windshield.  It worked, even if it did ruin the lines of my gorgeous, oh-so-simple shovelhead.

The Bitch with the pogo stick and vintage FLH windshield….

I later exchanged it for one that came off a Dyna Wide Glide, I think.  A slightly sleeker look, and that’s the way it looks today: pogo stick, tractor seat and Dyna windshield.

….and here, with the later-model Dyna windshield.

My BMW needed no such alterations.  It already put me in a riding position suitable to my limitations, and I’d already installed a windshield for touring purposes. 

2000 BMW R1100R with a windshield and OEM bags, on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State.

However, I still wanted a Harley I could pack my wife on, so one Saturday I toddled off down to Bud’s to explore the possibility of a new frame for my shovelhead.  It would have hurt my heart to lose the rigid frame and, thankfully, I didn’t need to.

Instead, I came home with a 1987 FXRS.

The 1987 FXRS I named The Banshee (because she knew how to wail) was ugly as sin when I got her, but had a powerplant rebuilt from a burn by Harley Bob, the same ace who figured out how to make The Bitch’s pogo stick saddle work. It also handled like a dream, had all the get-up-and-go an ol’ boy like me could need, and was the first Harley my wife could passenger on!

The first thing I did was install an FXRP Police saddle, which accomplished on the FXRS the same thing the pogo stick did on the shovelhead:  got my hips above my knees.  The FXRS already had a windshield, so I was spared that expense. 

The FXRP (Police) saddle mounted on my 1987 FXRS Low Rider the day I brought it home….
….and the first ride on the new saddle.

Instead, I just started stripping the FXRS of all the chrome and gold-accented doodads the previous owner had insisted on, and altering the bike to better fit my body.  Finally, I decided on a paint scheme I wanted, and spent months getting that accomplished. 

The Banshee on October 24th, 2008, the day I finished a two-year makeover, which included the FXRP saddle seen here, the removal of a metric fuck-tonne of chrome shyte, and the installation of as many black parts as I could lay hands on. In fact, a black belt-guard and that all-black pillion pad were the final pieces of my puzzle.

And there I was, a happy biker with three motorcycles suited for my disabilities:  my original OG shovelhead for hopping around town or solo road trips, the BMW for canyon carving, and the FXRS (now named The Banshee) for squiring my wife around in style.

I wish I could say we lived happily ever after, but….

….Fate or Life or The Universe (the bastard) had other ideas.

😱😮😳😢😔🤬

One of the many cruel tricks Fate or Life or The Universe (the bastard) played on me (and there have been many) is that the nerve damage at my spine causes all sorts of misfires in the lower half of my body.  I feel things I shouldn’t feel — sudden sharp pains, weird sensations like wetness on my leg, muscle spasms — and don’t feel things I should, like knowing when my bladder is full. 🤢 Ain’t that a gas?

And just so you know, I’m not sharing this because I want to. I just know there are other riders out there who have experienced (or, heavens forfend, will experience) some of what I’m going through. I wish someone had talked turkey to me post-accident, so I’m talking to y’all.

And you can ask questions, if you have any, about the bikes, the adaptations, or the medical shyte I’ve experienced in the nineteen years since my fall. All that experience should be good for something besides making me miserable…. 
 
….right? 
 Right?
 
šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

Anyhoo….

Think of that channel through the center of each vertebra as a conduit, and the nerves as wires.  My surgeon said that when he got to my L-4 vertebra it was 80% occluded. With ‘spring-back’ — which means just what it sounds like — he reckons the L-4 channel (through which the cauda equina passes) was 100% occluded at the moment of impact. That explains why I felt the sharp pain in my back when I hit the ground, and also explains the problems I had post-surgery.

If the vertebra acts as a conduit, then a burst fracture is like a kink in that conduit, which crushes the wires inside.  At 100% occlusion, the insulation on those wires will be damaged, and as a result, electrical signals will go places they weren’t supposed to go.  Misfires.  Some are frustrating, some are humiliating, some are aggravating as hell, and most are just fucking painful. 

However, one of the first misfires I noticed began while I was still in the wheelchair after my initial surgeries.  Because I’d damaged both lower extremities so severely, I couldn’t weight-bear on my own, but the medicos wanted me up and moving about. 

The solution?  Working out in the physical therapy pool at the hospital.  The water would bear most of my weight, but I’d still be able to ā€˜walk’ and move around. 

As an aside, I was working out one day with a man about my age who had his hip replaced, and we got to talking about our injuries.  When I mentioned that I had fallen 35’ from a billboard, his eyes got big as saucers, and he said, ā€˜My father fell off a six-foot stepladder in his garage and died!’ 

Have I mentioned that Fate or Life or The Universe (whatever) is a bastard?  😔

Anyhoo, I was still working out in the pool when I learned that one of the many ‘gifts’ I’d been given in my accident was a trick knee, that would give way without warning and drop me where I stood.  In the pool, of course, this meant a sudden dunking and a faceful of highly chlorinated water.  Once I was out of the wheelchair, the results could be considerably worse.  I’d be strolling along, minding my own business, and suddenly I’m sprawled on the floor, or sidewalk, with skinned knees and palms.  What fun!

At first, it was mostly annoying and occasionally embarrassing, but over time the misfires to my knee became more and more frequent, to the point that I worried about my leg giving way as I sat at a red light on my bike, and me ending up with the bike on top of me, dependent on strangers to help me get back up again.

I do not like feeling that dependent on anyone.  It’s a whole thing with me.

I finally realized that I needed to do something to protect myself, and I thought ā€˜Hey, what about a trike?  After all, we’d built that one for Paul ā€˜way back when, and with Bud to help me I knew I could take my shovel and build a sharp-looking trike around it.

See my previous post for details about this trike.

I started banking money with Bud, saving up for one of the rigid trike frames Paughco was manufacturing, but then Bud died and my money disappeared.  I was so heartsick over his death that I couldn’t even pursue it.  In fact, it took me a number of years to step back into what was left of Bud’s shop again, and by then it was in a different location and of a completely different world.  I recognized some of the fixtures – the classic old showcases Bud had scored when the original Harley shop on Guadalupe closed – and noticed the tribute to Bandido Craig, who I’d worked with when Bud was still alive, but everything else, including the people, was utterly alien to me.

However, that was later.  Once I’d recovered enough from Bud’s passing to begin thinking of triking the shovel again, I began selling a massive assortment of stuff I had accumulated over the years.  Most of it was through eBay, and for a while I was shipping motorcycle parts, manuals and moto-themed gewgaws all over the world.  I also sold books and pop culture collectibles, antiques, whatever….

….until I’d finally saved enough to order the Paughco frame I’d been dreaming of.

The frame of my dreams, minus the chrome plating. Homie don’ like chromie!

I rang Paughco, all confident and ready to talk turkey, only to be informed that Paughco no longer makes the frame I wanted.  This was after the pandemic, when the supply chain was in disarray, and Ian, the fellow I spoke with, told me they couldn’t get the tubing they needed, but it didn’t matter because they couldn’t hire enough qualified welders, either!  😮

And that raises a quick question:  Where is this ā€˜collapsed economy’ I hear so many people raving about?  Because I see a fuck-ton of ā€˜Help Wanted’ signs and adverts all around.  Paughco is obviously not the only concern experiencing staffing shortages, and low unemployment is one of the hallmarks of a healthy economy, right?

Just sayin’….

Anyhoo, with Paughco unable to provide the frame I wanted, I began searching all over for other options.  I was burning up the Googleplex looking for ‘trike frame’, ‘rigid trike frame’, ‘Harley trike frame’, et cetera. I found plenty of bolt-on swingarm trike kits to fit swingarm and Softail frames, and stretched and raked low-saddle rigid frames intended for radical ā€˜chopper’ builds, but no one was making the traditional rigid frame I wanted – the one like the photo from the Paughco catalog.

I finally found one outfit in The Netherlands that made the frame I wanted, a place called VG Classic Frames. He even used repop factory-styled castings for the headstock, et cetera, and had what looked like a seat post for the pogo stick, which would have made it ideal for my needs.  Sadly, despite numerous attempts, I could not get the shop owner to give me a price (or even a ballpark estimate) of what shipping to the U.S. might cost.

Oh, what could have been! 😢

By now I was getting desperate to get back in the wind, so I gave up and I gave in, and I went shopping for a Harley-Davidson Freewheeler.  Of the late-model trikes on offer from the MoCo, the Freewheeler was closest to my idea of a motorcycle.  It was a little stripped down, a little meaner looking than the Tri-Glide, and quite a bit lighter.  It still weighs twice what my shovel does 😮 but that fiberglass taco box is heavy!

The 2016 Harley-Davidson Freewheeler with the 103″ Twin Cam engine; last year for the line, I’m told. I know squat about late-model Harleys, so every day on this thing is a new experience! And just think, I went from a 74″ shovel to an 80″ Evo, and now a 103″ Twinkie.

I found the bike I wanted at a stealership in Houston.  It was a 2016 FLRT Freewheeler in Black Quartz, with 4ā€ unbaffled Cobra cones and a factory rider backrest and luggage rack.  I could have done without the backrest – thankfully, it’s removable with the push of a couple of tabs – and the luggage rack is actually kinda handy, but those straight pipes were fucking awful! 

The 2016 Harley-Davidson FLRT Freewheeler I have christened The Box-Turtle. First there’s alliteration — Bitch, Banshee, Bagger and Box-Turtle — and then there’s that great honkin’ taco box on the back, like a turtle shell.
I even found a metallic sticker of Heinrick Kley’s musical turtles, which I’d discovered several years before they appeared on the cover of The Grateful Dead’s Terrapin Station album.  
 
 
 In fact, while I lived in Seattle in late ’75, after getting out of the service, I got the banjo-playing turtle tattooed on my left bicep. Unfortunately, the ‘artist’ — a celebrated tattooist who called herself ‘Madame Lazonga’ — did such a crappy job that I had the thing covered at the first opportunity.  
 
 
 Still, I never got over my affection for the critters!
I even found an embroidered patch to add to my winter riding vest, and a suitable quote from a Grateful Dead song. It really has been a long, strange trip, hasn’t it?

It took the better part of a day of dicking around, but I got the price down to what I was willing to pay, and the deal was made.  The next Saturday I pulled my motorcycle trailer down to Houston and carted her home. 

The FLRT Freewheeler loaded on my too-short trailer….
….and thank goodness I had the heavy-duty tie-down straps Bud gave me, so I could rig that tailgate/ramp securely enough to make it home. I’ll be having braces made for it ASAP. 
 
 
 And yes, that is a flat tire, unnoticed in all the excitement until I was a block away, no longer under the nice shade tree. 😔🤬 Triple-A earned their premium that day!
Once home, I didn’t ride the beast for a week. See those four-inch cones? I like my neighbors, and I have no interest in inflicting that on them, so I waited to ride until I could replace the damned things.  
 
 
 This project, BTW, prompted my return to Bud’s Motorcycle Shop, Version 2.0, for the first time since his death, and my realization that change, that constant motherfucker, had done its damage in my old home-away-from-home. Took two trips out there — one before I brought the trike home and another after, to exchange the first set of take-off mufflers for a set that fit — but I got it done!
Then it was time to begin the learning curve.

For those not familiar, riding a trike (or a sidecar rig like the one I piloted in the ’80s) is completely different than riding a solo machine. For starters, countersteering will get a rider killed, because the trike reacts in a completely opposite manner to a solo when countersteered. Push out on the right handgrip while approaching a left-hand curve, and instead of gently leaning into and tracking through your curve, you will find yourself going hard to port before you can even grasp what’s happening! 

The sidecar we dubbed ‘Moon Unit’, attached to my 1954 wishbone frame with a combination of OEM Harley-Davidson parts and some bastard mounts designed and constructed with the invaluable assistance of Bill Mading at BG&T Welding in Austin. Bill was a former motocross racer who understood (far better than I) the stresses and strains a motorcycle frame undergoes. It was Bill who restored my ’54 frame when I first got it, replacing the stress tube and fat bob mounts some chopper builder had removed, and inspecting the joints for cracks. When I decided to get a sidecar for the shovel, so my stepdaughter could join her mother and I on rides, I knew I could trust him to help keep my little girl safe.

The test-ride I took in Houston was terrifying, so when I got the beast home, I knew I had to unlearn almost five decades of training and experience in order to ride her safely. Just resisting the instinct to countersteer when going into curves took all my concentration, at first.  
  
Then, since I’m not countersteering and leaning into curves the way I’m accustomed to do, the trike constantly felt as if it might tip over in turns, victim to centrifugal force. I had to gradually build up my confidence in curves, carefully going faster and faster as I gained a feeling for how the machine would handle and what it could handle.  
  
It was effectively like reliving my earliest days on a motorcycle. My first rides were just toodles around the neighborhood, but I slowly progressed to longer and longer excursions.

My first ‘big’ trip out of the neighborhood was to drop some eBay packages off at the post office. Whoo-hoo, huh?  šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø
  
 Still, it was me on a motorcycle and back in the wind, so no complaints here…. 
 
 
 ….and I’ve managed longer trips since then, including a day-long walkabout through Williamson, Cameron and Bell Counties, down the backroads I so enjoyed exploring on my shovelhead. I’m slowly rebuilding my ‘mileage muscles’, which have atrophied after years of disuse, and look forward to longer and longer rides on my Box-Turtle.

So, I am back in the wind, with my knees in the breeze, but wouldn’t you know? After months spent scouring the internet for the rigid shovel frame I originally sought, and asking everyone I could find for leads, et cetera, and finally committing to the 2016 Freewheeler, it was (and I swear I am not making this up) just two weeks later that a friend helped me reconnect with an old riding partner – a fellow I haven’t seen in over twenty years – who just happens to own a custom frame shop in Dallas. 😳

Steve back in 1992, on a ride from Central Texas to Western Colorado. I just love that grin on his face!

Have I mentioned that Fate or Life or The Universe (the bastard) has a perverted sense of humor and really shitty timing?  😔

Anyhoo, I did get to visit my old friend on a road trip that I’ll tell you about in an upcoming post, but in the meanwhile, my gimped-up ass is finally back in the wind where it belongs, and my old friend is scheming on a possible frame for my shovelhead!

chal•lenge accepted! 😁

I might look grumpy, but inside I’m smiling like a fool! I am in the wind! It’s not my beloved Bitch, but the wind tastes the same! ….and I still have The Bitch, so I still have hope. So long as I’m upright and breathing free air, there’s always the possibility that The Bitch and I will be together in the wind again, someday soon. šŸ˜Ž

In case you missed the link at the beginning of this post, you can find the first part of my article at:

SHE’S GOT IT!

As some of you know, I have long been a proponent of women riding their own bikes, so I pay attention to articles like the one posted below. Karan Andrea would have been an interesting person in her own right, for her determination and accomplishments, but she also had the good sense to fall in love with another 1974 Shovelhead, which makes her my sister…. or sister-in-law, at least. šŸ˜

Karan wrote:

Riding, Wrenching, & Empowerment

Antique Motorcycle Club of America Riveters Chapter founder Karan Andrea brought a vintage Harley back to life, despite all odds

by Karan Andrea, Buffalo, New York, February 27, 2022 at  https://womenridersnow.com/riding-wrenching-empowerment/

AMCA Riveter Ride—Chix on 66

Note: per the Riveter Chapter’s website, they will host a run to Berea, Kentucky May 30 – June 2, 2023. Visit them at https://www.riveterchapter.com/ for more info.

Despite three years of struggling to learn to ride well, I never gave up.  Today, I am the master of my 1974 Harley-Davidson Shovelhead, which I can not only ride, but wrench on.  This photo was taken at the Shovelhead Reunion in Milwaukee last June by Mark Garcia, Big Machine Photography.

AMCA Riveter Founder’s Herstory

I started riding motorcycles in 2011 when I was 45 years old.  Prior to that, I hadn’t been around bikes all that much. I never rode dirt bikes and didn’t have a parent or relative who rode.  When I was 19 years old, I dated a guy for a minute who had a Yamaha Virago.  I rode with him a few times and loved it!  But after we broke up, I didn’t have the opportunity to ride a motorcycle again for 25 years.

At that point, I had a friend who had a motorcycle who was going through a rough patch in life.  The only solace he had was riding, but he had a hard time getting himself to leave the house to go for a ride.  I started asking him to take me for rides.  I’d cover the gas, and we’d ride for hours.

After a while, he said, ā€˜You know, if you like riding that much, why don’t you get your license and get your own bike.  That way, you don’t have to date some asshole in order to ride.’  My answer was, ā€˜I can do that?’  It never occurred to me that I could learn to ride a motorcycle.  I had no idea how one learned to ride, but in some part of my mind I think I assumed that if you were a dude, you just automatically knew how, so of course I did not know how.  I didn’t know any women who rode, although that wasn’t a huge factor because I’ve always done things that were non-traditional for a woman.

Learning to Ride a Motorcycle

My friend told me about a motorcycle class for beginners, and I went for it.  I was a nervous wreck.  I have no idea how I passed the riding evaluation, but I did it.  There I was, an endorsed rider with no friggin’ clue how to ride a motorcycle.  This is not a shortcoming of the class at all.  The beginner’s class teaches you how to operate a motorcycle and teaches you the basics of safety, but we never went beyond the parking lot.

The only way to learn to ride a motorcycle, is to ride a motorcycle.  Karan, meet anxiety, anxiety, Karan.  The next three years were a struggle.  I bought the wrong bike, was getting (no) help from the wrong person, and I just never felt comfortable riding.  But I wanted to ride so badly, that I refused to give up.

My stubborn streak served me well.  Just five years after I got rid of the wrong bike, I became a certified Motorcycle Safety Instructor.  I’ve also fallen in love with vintage bikes and long-distance riding.

My First Vintage Motorcycle

When I left a damaging relationship in 2018, I was left with a 1974 Harley-Davidson FLH Shovelhead in my garage that was the most terrifying beast I had ever faced.  That motorcycle needed a lot of work.  It was barely ridable as it sat, and even after I conquered my fear and rode it, it was a physically exhausting—but strangely exhilarating—adventure.  Along with needing major motor, clutch, transmission, and fork work, the bike needed to be completely rewired.  Wrenching still intimidates me even though I will do it, but wiring… I was pretty sure I could do that.

Quite a few people told me I was crazy and that I would get frustrated and end up hauling it to a shop for them to finish.  They said I didn’t know what I was doing, and I would screw it up and would never finish the job.  My answer was, ā€œSo what?  I’m gonna try.ā€

In winter of 2018, I screwed up the nerve to rewire this beast

Overcoming Obstacles

I did get some help (although it was the wrong help) and I built up some confidence.  I taught myself how to read an electrical diagram and learned to trust my instincts with the bike, people, and myself.  I finally finished the rewire job and took the Shovel on its first journey.  I did a 1,000-mile trip, fixed a few things along the way, and never felt more in control of myself and my bike.

Again, people told me I was crazy to travel on this old motorcycle.  What was I going to do if it broke down?  My answer was always the same, ā€œI will figure it out.ā€  My second trip on the Shovelhead was 2,000 miles.  During both trips the bike had minor problems, but I got some fabulous stories out of it, and I was forming a bond with that old Harley that I had never had with any other vehicle I have ever owned.

Nothing about riding or wrenching has come easily.  I am grateful to the short list of people who have been so generous with information, advice, parts, and encouragement.  I am also grateful to the longer list of people who tried to derail me, who said I’d never succeed, who tried to sabotage my efforts.  Because in the end, I have shown myself who I am.

The first word I ever read as a child was SHELL. When I saw this aging service station during a motorcycle trip in 2019, I whipped around and went back for a photo. This is either in northern Kentucky or southern Ohio
In 2021 Ernie Barkman crafted this seat rail for me and the Shovelhead’s official name became Atomic Shovel.
I have graduated to hacking up other people’s motorcycles.  This was another parking lot repair in 2021 on fellow vintage motorcycle rider Marjorie Kleiman’s Harley-Davidson FXR.  Photo by Marjorie Kleiman.

As I read Karan’s article, I found two lines that really spoke to me, because they so perfectly mirror my own feelings. First, Karan wrote that, after teaching herself to rebuild and rewire the bike, she:

‘…took the Shovel on its first journey. I did a 1,000-mile trip, fixed a few things along the way, and never felt more in control of myself and my bike.’

That sense of competence and control Karan cites – the sensation I get from knowing my Shovelhead inside and out – is so precious to me. I’m pleased to know it is to her, as well.

She follows that by saying:

‘Again, people told me I was crazy to travel on this old motorcycle. What was I going to do if it broke down? My answer was always the same, ā€œI will figure it out.ā€ My second trip on the Shovelhead was 2,000 miles. During both trips the bike had minor problems, but I got some fabulous stories out of it, and I was forming a bond with that old Harley that I had never had with any other vehicle I have ever owned.’

The bond Karan mentions is why I still get loquacious AF about my Shovelhead after all these years. See previous post, f’rinstance. What can I say? šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø The Bitch is in my blood, and my blood, sweat and tears are in hers. 😁

Thank you, Karan Andrea and Women Riders Now for sharing that essay with us. SlƔinte!