Monthly Archives: July 2023

BIKERS

Posted on by
RUBs, posers, or the more elegant ‘poseurs’…. All just different words for the odd duck known as the Leather-Clad Harley-Davidson Wannabe (LCHDW). Their natural habitat is the ‘Chrome Adviser’ counter at their local Harley-Davidson stealership, or the hipster coffee house located five blocks from their palatial McMansion. However, some more adventurous LCHDWs may migrate on occasion to large ‘look-at-me’ rallies at Daytona, Sturgis, Laconia and Austin, where they trailer their low-mileage late-model Harley-Davidsons and ersatz Indians behind massive motor homes, and then pretend they’ve ridden the entire way.

I found these lines (quoted below) written on Quora, which is a great time-suck, BTW, if you enjoy arguing with total strangers:

“Real bikers wanted Harleys. And that included all those suburban accountants, lawyers, etc. who felt the call of the biker….

….there’s a ‘soul’ to a Harley that a Japanese bike will never have. And a Harley rider knows it.

Besides, when was the last time you saw a biker with ‘Honda’ tattooed on his arm?” 1

To which I say:

There are motorcycle owners and then there are bikers.

Your average suburbanite, who waited until he was an empty-nester with massive disposable income to finally get a motorcycle, is not a ‘biker’. He may dress like one (see photo above) but he will never actually be one. Why? Because he waited until he was an empty-nester with massive disposable income to finally buy his motorcycle.

A biker won’t wait. A biker will do whatever it takes to get that motorcycle. Work two jobs? You bet! Give up partying to save money for the bike? No prob! Scour the want ads and eyeball every bike in every parking lot, hoping to score a deal? But of course! Sell blood or body parts? De nada!

And then, once he (or she)2 has the bike he’s been dreaming of, the biker will dedicate the majority of his life to keeping and maintaining that machine, ofttimes to the exclusion of all else. It’s not a mid-life crisis, a recreational toy, a status symbol, or even a vehicle, but so much more. For the biker, the bike becomes his raison d’etre.

For instance, the biker will pay more in rent just to have a safe place to stash his bike and tools…. and he will have tools, because the biker will be loath to trust his motorcycle to anyone else’s ministrations. Factory-certified or shade-tree experienced, the majority of mechanics will not give the biker’s baby the tender loving care she deserves.

And like any parent of a baby, the biker will do without a lot of luxuries in order to provide for his bike. Who needs a fancy suit or a big screen TV when you have a scooter waiting for you? Who needs to dine out in high-dollar restaurants when a fast-food taco and a hot cup of coffee from the 7-11 will suffice? And this is even truer when times get hard. The biker will sell his cage and go hungry, even homeless, and never even consider selling his motorcycle. The thought never even enters his mind.

But wait! There’s more!

The biker will, if needs must, work jobs that lack benefits or opportunities for advancement, so long as they provide plenty of time off to ride…. and if the necessary time off is not forthcoming he’ll just quit. There will always be more work for a man (or woman) with the skills most bikers possess. There won’t always be another rally, or party, or sunny day with that particular band of brothers and sisters ready to ride.

The biker will naturally spend the majority of his spare time hanging with other riders, bench racing, helping his friends maintain their bikes, going on runs and to rallies and on long meandering rides just for the sheer joy of being surrounded by his tribe….

….because that’s where the happiness lives. 😎

And although the majority of the bikers I’ve known in the fifty-odd years I’ve been on the scene are in fact Harley riders, you’ll note that I never specified a brand-name. I have met some Harley owners I wouldn’t consider ‘motorcyclists’, let alone bikers. By the same token, I’ve met some metric riders of all stripes — Hondas, BMWs, Triumphs, Moto Guzzis, et cetera — that I wouldn’t hesitate to call ‘biker’ or partner up with on my next cross-country ride.

Biker does not come on a t-shirt or brand-name jacket. It’s not in a tattoo’s ink or even between a rider’s legs. Biker is in the heart.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 1981-bill-and-brothers-at-bainbridge-island-wa-early-may-1981.jpg

That said, here I am in 1981, at my parents’ home on Bainbridge Island with brothers, Bob and Lee, wearing my very own Harley t-shirt, received from the late Dan James at Austin Motorcycle Company….

….and here I am sporting my very own Harley-Davidson tattoo, done by Bandido Fat Roger.

1 https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-love-Harley-Davidson-Motorcycles-so-much/answer/George-Paczolt

2 Contrary to popular belief, bikers can be women, or is it that women can be bikers? 🤔 No matter! You get my meaning!

Photo of RUBs from http://gypsydroppings.blogspot.com/2011/09/bikers-vs-rubs-tips-for-press-on-how-to.html